Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Restless with Questions

Oh dear. I can't sit still at all, and my attention span is deserting me. It's not going to be good for this last little while of school. Really. I've lost interest completely. I spent 80 minutes in math today bouncing my knees because I couldn't sit still. In physics I spent almost the whole time playing with equipment for labs that weren't even related to the lab we were supposed to be doing. I've turned into a 5 year old again. =P Too bad I haven't turned as cute as I was when I was 5. Then I could get away with anything. lol. So wish me luck for the rest of the year, as little as it is.

Why is this affecting me so much? It's completely crazy. What am I going to be like next year? Hm...best not to think about that right now. But still. It's so weird. And I guess I'm lying a little bit. I do kinda know what it's affecting me so much, but it's not a pleasant thought, so I'm going to remain in denial. Maybe if I just don't think about it, I'll just naturally figure it out, and...hm, I dunno. We'll see I guess. Blah. Okay, no more talking about this or I'll start thinking about it.

And when did I get swept into my own little world of band drama? It's nothing super big or anything, but still. It's more then I've had over the past...4 years, pretty much. Interesting.

Who was I singing for this morning? That question I actually know the answer to. I was actually singing to a few people, but there was actually one in particular that was the main focus. I was mostly singing to somebody who's become a really good friend since I came into high school. A friend who's been willing to listen when I need to talk, and willing to give advice when I need it. I didn't even realize how good of friends we had become until I found myself wanting to talk to them more and more. We've had our rough times, all friends have, I believe. And I won't lie, it was mostly my fault. But when I was finally ready to come back and be friends, they were more then willing, and that meant a lot to me. There's not many people who will stick around when you need time to figure things out. And some people, when you finally figure things out, you realize can't stick around, because things are different. But that's a subject for another time. When things changed, we were still friends. Now things are changing again and I hope we can stay friends, because I don't like to lose friends, no matter what happens.

And for those of you who want to know what I'm actually talking about instead of just vague references...too bad. =P Confusing people is fun. =) Some people know what I'm talking about, I'm sure they do. That's good enough for me.

~Calminaiel~

"What do you think would happen if I just broke out into a Children's March solo in the middle of Pomp and Circumstance?"

2 comments:

Christine said...

I remember feeling probably quite the way you do at this time last year when all the grade 12s were about to leave, and this time the year before, when all the grade 12s were about to leave. Both times, all my best friends were in grade 12, and both times it was very hard to deal with, but both times I found new friends the next year, and I daresay that this year was the best of them all. Of course it's hard saying goodbye, and so it should be, but I don't doubt that you'll still have a great time next year.

In the meantime though, let the rest of this year be happy, and save the tears for the last day of school, at which point definately let them all out!! And you know, some of them you'll still talk to all the time, and others you'll lose touch with, and you'll find friends in people you never thought possible (stop rolling your eyes and raising your eyebrows; I kid you not!), and if I know you at all, Robyn, I know that no matter who is in band with you at any given time, you will always enjoy it.

To sum it up: There are still a couple weeks left this year, so even if rehearsals are over, nobody's going anywhere yet, so make them the greatest weeks of the year! Don't bother filling them with sadness; it's not worth it YET.

Much love, and I shall see you on Saturday!

Christine

fhorn_qt said...

"What do you think would happen if I just broke out into a Children's March solo in the middle of Pomp and Circumstance?"

I think Paddock would you a Death Stare. And then proceed with the ceremony, and afterwards kill you, quietly with a polishing cloth stuffed down your throat. Much as he loves you Rob, I think it's a bad idea. =)