Apparently I'm okay with eating ice cream and crying for an undefined period of time, because it is now the next day and I have done absolutely nothing that I meant to do.
I know, I'm pro.
~Calminaiel~
"That's oddly logical."
1 day ago
Friday, February 05, 2010
Thursday, February 04, 2010
Blah Time
It's that really sucky time where midterms are coming up, and I'm running out of time to get anything done. Which results in really unpleasant mood swings. I apologize to all who may be affected by this. I don't enjoy it. But it should only last for a week, maybe two. At least, hopefully no longer than that. I don't think I could do wild mood swings for longer than that.
Anyways, tonight I actually have to get stuff done, or I will officially be so behind that I may just decide to give up, which will result in an even more wild mood swing, as at that point I will be forced to re-evaluate my whole life (not that I haven't done a little bit of that before) and I may also be tempted to do nothing but eat ice cream and cry, which is not good for both my physique (which isn't great to begin with) and my hydration levels (crying all the time takes a lot out of you).
I'll give you a moment to realize how long that sentence really is, and possibly to figure out some grammatical problems that I'm sure are in there.
Done? Wonderful.
So you see why tonight is the night in which I really have to get at least some stuff done. I'm not asking to get completely caught up, but hopefully I'll at least be able to finish all the stuff I was supposed to finish last Monday.
However, my productivity levels do seem to go up slightly once the rest of my family is in bed. Quite inconvenient in term of getting enough sleep at night, but that's how it is. I just keep telling myself that I've survived similar situations before, so I can do it again.
But this time, I have ice cream in the freezer, which should keep the optimism relatively high.
I may have said this before, but I am constantly being amazed at the extent to which I can procrastinate.
Oh well. Time for more peanut butter, some ice cream, waiting until Dad goes to bed, and then getting stuff done.
~Calminaiel~
"So, Matt was riding ass down a hill."
Anyways, tonight I actually have to get stuff done, or I will officially be so behind that I may just decide to give up, which will result in an even more wild mood swing, as at that point I will be forced to re-evaluate my whole life (not that I haven't done a little bit of that before) and I may also be tempted to do nothing but eat ice cream and cry, which is not good for both my physique (which isn't great to begin with) and my hydration levels (crying all the time takes a lot out of you).
I'll give you a moment to realize how long that sentence really is, and possibly to figure out some grammatical problems that I'm sure are in there.
Done? Wonderful.
So you see why tonight is the night in which I really have to get at least some stuff done. I'm not asking to get completely caught up, but hopefully I'll at least be able to finish all the stuff I was supposed to finish last Monday.
However, my productivity levels do seem to go up slightly once the rest of my family is in bed. Quite inconvenient in term of getting enough sleep at night, but that's how it is. I just keep telling myself that I've survived similar situations before, so I can do it again.
But this time, I have ice cream in the freezer, which should keep the optimism relatively high.
I may have said this before, but I am constantly being amazed at the extent to which I can procrastinate.
Oh well. Time for more peanut butter, some ice cream, waiting until Dad goes to bed, and then getting stuff done.
~Calminaiel~
"So, Matt was riding ass down a hill."
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Series of Events (and Thoughts)
This narrative directly from my mind happened at 6:45. I had just gotten out of the shower, and was in my room:
---
Hm, I like showers. Feeling clean is always good. Ooh, I still have that set of brushes I was given...sometime...a while ago...from somebody...anyways, I should see if my hair's getting long enough to use any of them...
*cell phone buzzes*
(excited) Oh, text from Ken?...No, call from Rachel Flatts, probably to give me another clinic...but my schedule's in the kitchen and I'm wearing...oh right, nothing. I'll just slip on my housecoat...which is also in the kitchen because Mom washed it today. Damn. (trying think quickly while phone continues to ring) I could let her leave a message and call her back...but I have my towel, and only my Dad is home...the most he'd see is a bit of leg...as long as I can actually wrap my towel around myself properly...okay, just get it.
*answers cell phone*
"Hello?"
"Hi, can I speak to Robyn?"
(trying to wrap towel around herself without dropping cell phone) "Speaking."
"Hi Robyn, it's Rachel, I was wondering if you could do a clinic on February 5th?"
"Hold on, let me just go get my day timer..."
---
It just so happened that my towel was in fact covering just barely past my waist, but nobody was actually in the kitchen or living room when I went out, so it was all okay. This all has very little purpose, but I just found the situation and my accompanying thoughts amusing.
~Calminaiel~
"I generally don't like squishy things."
---
Hm, I like showers. Feeling clean is always good. Ooh, I still have that set of brushes I was given...sometime...a while ago...from somebody...anyways, I should see if my hair's getting long enough to use any of them...
*cell phone buzzes*
(excited) Oh, text from Ken?...No, call from Rachel Flatts, probably to give me another clinic...but my schedule's in the kitchen and I'm wearing...oh right, nothing. I'll just slip on my housecoat...which is also in the kitchen because Mom washed it today. Damn. (trying think quickly while phone continues to ring) I could let her leave a message and call her back...but I have my towel, and only my Dad is home...the most he'd see is a bit of leg...as long as I can actually wrap my towel around myself properly...okay, just get it.
*answers cell phone*
"Hello?"
"Hi, can I speak to Robyn?"
(trying to wrap towel around herself without dropping cell phone) "Speaking."
"Hi Robyn, it's Rachel, I was wondering if you could do a clinic on February 5th?"
"Hold on, let me just go get my day timer..."
---
It just so happened that my towel was in fact covering just barely past my waist, but nobody was actually in the kitchen or living room when I went out, so it was all okay. This all has very little purpose, but I just found the situation and my accompanying thoughts amusing.
~Calminaiel~
"I generally don't like squishy things."
Sunday, January 17, 2010
A Clean Slate (Not)
Thanks to a lovely post from Mr. Lady, a blogger who's writing I absolutely love, I have decided to keep going with this blog. It's been with me through a lot, and I know I'm not always completely loyal (see: last few months) but somehow or other I always find myself coming back to it.
This next little bit is for my family. We recently went through a tough time because my grandparent decided to sell their place, and go find the endless adventures waiting for them. Good for them, I know, and we're all proud of them.
Now, this may not seem like it should cause such a tough time, as I'm making out. But if you're thinking that right now, it shows that you don't know that house. You don't know that place. And you don't know my family.
My grandparents, with the help of their kids (my dad, aunts, and uncles) built that house. That it itself makes it very special, especially for my dad's side of the family.
This house sat on the edge of a small cliff, looking over the river. During the day, we'd moo to the cows on the other side, and during the night, we'd howl to the coyotes. Grandpa always took care of the fields, and more than once we got to see a deer, or moose walking through them.
A trip to the farm was always a cause for excitement. The farm seemed to offer an escape from everyday life. School, work, stress...it all seemed to disappear at the farm.
I'm sure everybody has a special place like this. Where only good memories exist. Think of your special place, and you'll know what the farm was like for us.
The fact that my grandparents were selling the place hit everybody a little differently. I think the grandchildren were hit the hardest. That was grandma and grandpa's place. How could it be any other way?
I'm proud to say I was very strong through the whole thing. I talked about how awesome and fun this will be for grandma and grandpa. I agreed with all their reasons for selling and moving. I didn't get to go help them move out, but I happily looked the pictures and laughed at the more ridiculous ones.
But here's my secret: On my very last visit to the farm, I got up in the night, very quietly. I went to the sun kitchen and looked at the trees, and smelled the summer air, warm even in the middle of the night. I looked out the window to the bird feeder that grandma dutifully filled for the birds. And I cried. I cried because this place was our place. We were the ones who had filled it with life, with laughter, and with love. This place didn't belong to anybody else. It couldn't belong to anybody else. Nobody else would ever be able to love this place like we have.
That was my own, private goodbye to the farm. I was fine in the morning, I was fine when we were leaving. I had said my goodbye, just like everybody else.
But last night, Ken took me out of the city, in between all the little towns of Chestemere and Langdon. Out to a spot on the highway where there were no houses and no street lights. Only the occasional car. And he stopped the car, and we got out. And I looked up.
I almost lost it right there, because the stars looked exactly like they always had the farm, with no light to scare them away. And I suddenly missed it all over again, and starting wishing I had gone up there more often, if for nothing more than to just lay in the field to watch the stars.
I thought I'd done very well in saying goodbye to the farm.
But now I realize that maybe, in little bits and pieces, saying goodbye will take a lot longer than I thought.
~Calminaiel~
This next little bit is for my family. We recently went through a tough time because my grandparent decided to sell their place, and go find the endless adventures waiting for them. Good for them, I know, and we're all proud of them.
Now, this may not seem like it should cause such a tough time, as I'm making out. But if you're thinking that right now, it shows that you don't know that house. You don't know that place. And you don't know my family.
My grandparents, with the help of their kids (my dad, aunts, and uncles) built that house. That it itself makes it very special, especially for my dad's side of the family.
This house sat on the edge of a small cliff, looking over the river. During the day, we'd moo to the cows on the other side, and during the night, we'd howl to the coyotes. Grandpa always took care of the fields, and more than once we got to see a deer, or moose walking through them.
A trip to the farm was always a cause for excitement. The farm seemed to offer an escape from everyday life. School, work, stress...it all seemed to disappear at the farm.
I'm sure everybody has a special place like this. Where only good memories exist. Think of your special place, and you'll know what the farm was like for us.
The fact that my grandparents were selling the place hit everybody a little differently. I think the grandchildren were hit the hardest. That was grandma and grandpa's place. How could it be any other way?
I'm proud to say I was very strong through the whole thing. I talked about how awesome and fun this will be for grandma and grandpa. I agreed with all their reasons for selling and moving. I didn't get to go help them move out, but I happily looked the pictures and laughed at the more ridiculous ones.
But here's my secret: On my very last visit to the farm, I got up in the night, very quietly. I went to the sun kitchen and looked at the trees, and smelled the summer air, warm even in the middle of the night. I looked out the window to the bird feeder that grandma dutifully filled for the birds. And I cried. I cried because this place was our place. We were the ones who had filled it with life, with laughter, and with love. This place didn't belong to anybody else. It couldn't belong to anybody else. Nobody else would ever be able to love this place like we have.
That was my own, private goodbye to the farm. I was fine in the morning, I was fine when we were leaving. I had said my goodbye, just like everybody else.
But last night, Ken took me out of the city, in between all the little towns of Chestemere and Langdon. Out to a spot on the highway where there were no houses and no street lights. Only the occasional car. And he stopped the car, and we got out. And I looked up.
I almost lost it right there, because the stars looked exactly like they always had the farm, with no light to scare them away. And I suddenly missed it all over again, and starting wishing I had gone up there more often, if for nothing more than to just lay in the field to watch the stars.
I thought I'd done very well in saying goodbye to the farm.
But now I realize that maybe, in little bits and pieces, saying goodbye will take a lot longer than I thought.
~Calminaiel~
Friday, January 08, 2010
Boo
So, if you hadn't noticed, I'm apparently a little bored with this blog. I love this blog, and I know I've put a lot into it, but I still feel a little bored with it.
Now, the problem is that I still want another way to...I don't know, express myself, tell my story...show the world my crazy life...something like that. I still want a way to do that...and I can't think of how.
I'd love to get into the webcomic scene...but I can't draw.
Video blogging has occurred to me. That one's still posted on the drawing board.
In general, other ways of writing, other styles of blogging have occurred to me, all on the drawing board.
But I'm still undecided.
Opinions, ideas?
~Calminaiel~
Now, the problem is that I still want another way to...I don't know, express myself, tell my story...show the world my crazy life...something like that. I still want a way to do that...and I can't think of how.
I'd love to get into the webcomic scene...but I can't draw.
Video blogging has occurred to me. That one's still posted on the drawing board.
In general, other ways of writing, other styles of blogging have occurred to me, all on the drawing board.
But I'm still undecided.
Opinions, ideas?
~Calminaiel~
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Go Me
Wow. I just think I did more work on school by myself than I have ever done without having a huge project or essay due the next day. It's currently almost 10:30, and I've almost constantly been working on school since 6:30. I wrote my Greek vocab on flashcards and went over them a few times, then reread by Greek text in Greek, and translated it into English again for practice. I read all the pages of the textbook for music history that are "assigned" for this week, and copied out all the vocab that came up in said text, and listened to the 2 out of 3 songs assigned to this week that I have. I'll listen to the third when I get the CD from the library, probably on Monday.
And I've also had daily solid practice sections. So far, I'm doing pretty well in this whole 'keeping up with school' idea.
Technically I should do some Greek exercises from the book, but I think I'm done with school for now. I had a pretty good work section, I think I deserve a break.
The first week of school has been pretty good. All my new profs seem really nice, and all the old ones don't seem to have change much. I found out DeLong also went to Austria over the summer, so we had a good little chat in class about all the same places we went to. The difference is he probably appreciated some of those places a little more than I did, but being several years older than me and more experienced in the field of musical knowledge, that's probably to be expected. Oh, and he probably hadn't been going on walking tours all day and just wanted to go for lunch.
Greek is turning out to be a pretty good class, although our prof does like to go on about how much work we have to put into it. I'm not letting myself worry about this right now. I'll start worrying about it when I have to, but for now I'm just going to pay attention and do my work and see where that gets me. But most of the rest of the class are all Greek and Roman students, which was a little intimidating at first.
However, my Greek prof is also amazing. Her first language is Spanish, she also speaks English, and German, and teaches Latin as well as Greek. She amazes me every time she compares all these different languages. It also makes me want to take Latin, but she says that takes even more work than Greek, so we'll see how Greek goes before we start thinking about Latin. Plus, I'm already planning to take German next year.
The reed that I'm using currently isn't perfect. I didn't think it was that bad when I was sitting in a little room by myself practicing. But I got into a hall this morning with youth orchestra, and found out that it definitely is neither a large hall reed, nor a large ensemble reed. So I shall have to do something about that soon. I'll start working on more reeds on Tuesday. That is my designated hardcore working on reeds day.
But as for right now, I'm sitting at Ryan's house, while Ryan, Corey and Bennet play Wow. That is how I've got all this work done, by the way. Plus, I've been telling myself for the past few days that while they're playing Wow, I am going to get work done. And I did! I'm so proud of myself.
I was hoping to have some down time myself, with Puzzle Pirates, after I was done my work. But it sounds like the boys are done their things on Wow, which means I don't think I'll be able to join them with my own game, even if it is different than theirs. Oh well. It was a productive night, which is more than I can say for a lot of the other nights in my life.
But they have mentioned food, which I am definitely in for. I love food.
I'm also tired after doing all that work. I'm not quite sure whether I'm physically tired or just mentally tired...probably a little bit of both.
Anyways, before I start rambling random statements, I shall go and maybe fit in some mindless little flash games before we all get off the computers and go eat. That'll be nice.
~Calminaiel~
"Don't you just love getting up at 8 in the morning to go to orchestra? I think that's my favorite thing in the whole world."
And I've also had daily solid practice sections. So far, I'm doing pretty well in this whole 'keeping up with school' idea.
Technically I should do some Greek exercises from the book, but I think I'm done with school for now. I had a pretty good work section, I think I deserve a break.
The first week of school has been pretty good. All my new profs seem really nice, and all the old ones don't seem to have change much. I found out DeLong also went to Austria over the summer, so we had a good little chat in class about all the same places we went to. The difference is he probably appreciated some of those places a little more than I did, but being several years older than me and more experienced in the field of musical knowledge, that's probably to be expected. Oh, and he probably hadn't been going on walking tours all day and just wanted to go for lunch.
Greek is turning out to be a pretty good class, although our prof does like to go on about how much work we have to put into it. I'm not letting myself worry about this right now. I'll start worrying about it when I have to, but for now I'm just going to pay attention and do my work and see where that gets me. But most of the rest of the class are all Greek and Roman students, which was a little intimidating at first.
However, my Greek prof is also amazing. Her first language is Spanish, she also speaks English, and German, and teaches Latin as well as Greek. She amazes me every time she compares all these different languages. It also makes me want to take Latin, but she says that takes even more work than Greek, so we'll see how Greek goes before we start thinking about Latin. Plus, I'm already planning to take German next year.
The reed that I'm using currently isn't perfect. I didn't think it was that bad when I was sitting in a little room by myself practicing. But I got into a hall this morning with youth orchestra, and found out that it definitely is neither a large hall reed, nor a large ensemble reed. So I shall have to do something about that soon. I'll start working on more reeds on Tuesday. That is my designated hardcore working on reeds day.
But as for right now, I'm sitting at Ryan's house, while Ryan, Corey and Bennet play Wow. That is how I've got all this work done, by the way. Plus, I've been telling myself for the past few days that while they're playing Wow, I am going to get work done. And I did! I'm so proud of myself.
I was hoping to have some down time myself, with Puzzle Pirates, after I was done my work. But it sounds like the boys are done their things on Wow, which means I don't think I'll be able to join them with my own game, even if it is different than theirs. Oh well. It was a productive night, which is more than I can say for a lot of the other nights in my life.
But they have mentioned food, which I am definitely in for. I love food.
I'm also tired after doing all that work. I'm not quite sure whether I'm physically tired or just mentally tired...probably a little bit of both.
Anyways, before I start rambling random statements, I shall go and maybe fit in some mindless little flash games before we all get off the computers and go eat. That'll be nice.
~Calminaiel~
"Don't you just love getting up at 8 in the morning to go to orchestra? I think that's my favorite thing in the whole world."
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Edmonton Weekend
I went to Edmonton last weekend. Melda was having a birthday / graduation party. It was a lot of fun. I got to meet a lot of her friends, see how big my younger cousins are getting, and show the boy my grandparents' new car. He was pretty impressed, which made me happy, seeing as he usually views Lexus as just a done up Toyota. He may be right, but it still bugs me whenever I point out a nice Lexus, and he replies with that very line.
But anyways. I'm happy to say I only really got lost once, and even then it was only because I missed a turnoff and it took a while to find A) another convenient turnoff and B) our way back to where we were going. I'll admit, I got a little frustrated, because I don't like it when roads don't lead me where I want them to, which was starting to happen. Nevertheless (Niechdestotrotz), we got where we were going. I'm not counting the time we couldn't find the Great Canadian Bagel, because that wasn't cause we were lost, it was because the place wasn't where we thought it was. We knew exactly where we were the whole time.
I'm going to get my unpleasant thought of the evening out so maybe I can stop thinking about it: I was planning to use the rest of the week to clean my room, but then I remembered that I have to be practicing for university ensemble auditions, and I also have a dentist appointment tomorrow, and I plan to be out tomorrow and Thursday night. I know that may not sound like I have a lot to do, but it does to me, and it bugs me that I'm already feeling busy before classes are even starting.
It doesn't help that today was deathly hot. And for some reason I brought a fleece coat to work. Silly me. Just because I leave the house at 7:30 does not mean the day is going to be cold.
Work was alright, besides having to tell first years to keep their feet off the seats in front of them, and trying to do crowd control to keep people off the stage. Not that they listen to me, and then the stage manager yells at me. Well, not exactly yells, but she wasn't happy. But I'm pretty sure she was more not happy at the kids not listening to me, because at the end of the shift she was talking about just how she could see people ignoring me, and thanked me for trying. So that was alright.
I also got paid this afternoon for eating food, and playing in the drum circle, which was pretty fun. I might consider going to the drum circle more often this year. It's a nice mental release. Just hitting a drum in rhythm with a bunch of other people...making a different kind of music without having to think about it quite as much. Just getting a rhythm going and sticking with it. It was fun.
I also got a recent copy of the student newspaper, and found an article of 52 things you should do before you graduate. I'm thinking of keeping that and just checking things off, just for fun. Some of them I've already done, and some of them I really do agree that I should try. I'll copy them all down here sometime, marking which ones I've already done, but not now. I'll save that for a slower news day, when I'm really desperate for some blogging materiel.
Oh, and when I got into my car after it sitting in the sun for six hours while I was working, I literally thought I was going to die.
And the downside of having a nicely furnished, warm, inviting living room (and kitchen) is that your uncle tends to hang around upstairs more rather than doing other things that would usually take him away from you. Which means I'm spending more time in my room reading, because Mom likes it when I don't bi-....talk...about him, and it's much easier to do that when I don't spend time around him. So this is all for the better. I guess.
Revelation: I'm not actually as popular as I sometimes fool myself into thinking I am, and I should really get used to that fact.
I got an email from my Greek prof about some things we're going to cover in the first class. I immediately freaked out about that class. But that's just how I do things.
*farewell signoff message here*
(I still don't have any ideas for this. Suggestions?)
~Calminaiel~
"Okay, Robyn. Shut up."
"You see? Thank you."
But anyways. I'm happy to say I only really got lost once, and even then it was only because I missed a turnoff and it took a while to find A) another convenient turnoff and B) our way back to where we were going. I'll admit, I got a little frustrated, because I don't like it when roads don't lead me where I want them to, which was starting to happen. Nevertheless (Niechdestotrotz), we got where we were going. I'm not counting the time we couldn't find the Great Canadian Bagel, because that wasn't cause we were lost, it was because the place wasn't where we thought it was. We knew exactly where we were the whole time.
I'm going to get my unpleasant thought of the evening out so maybe I can stop thinking about it: I was planning to use the rest of the week to clean my room, but then I remembered that I have to be practicing for university ensemble auditions, and I also have a dentist appointment tomorrow, and I plan to be out tomorrow and Thursday night. I know that may not sound like I have a lot to do, but it does to me, and it bugs me that I'm already feeling busy before classes are even starting.
It doesn't help that today was deathly hot. And for some reason I brought a fleece coat to work. Silly me. Just because I leave the house at 7:30 does not mean the day is going to be cold.
Work was alright, besides having to tell first years to keep their feet off the seats in front of them, and trying to do crowd control to keep people off the stage. Not that they listen to me, and then the stage manager yells at me. Well, not exactly yells, but she wasn't happy. But I'm pretty sure she was more not happy at the kids not listening to me, because at the end of the shift she was talking about just how she could see people ignoring me, and thanked me for trying. So that was alright.
I also got paid this afternoon for eating food, and playing in the drum circle, which was pretty fun. I might consider going to the drum circle more often this year. It's a nice mental release. Just hitting a drum in rhythm with a bunch of other people...making a different kind of music without having to think about it quite as much. Just getting a rhythm going and sticking with it. It was fun.
I also got a recent copy of the student newspaper, and found an article of 52 things you should do before you graduate. I'm thinking of keeping that and just checking things off, just for fun. Some of them I've already done, and some of them I really do agree that I should try. I'll copy them all down here sometime, marking which ones I've already done, but not now. I'll save that for a slower news day, when I'm really desperate for some blogging materiel.
Oh, and when I got into my car after it sitting in the sun for six hours while I was working, I literally thought I was going to die.
And the downside of having a nicely furnished, warm, inviting living room (and kitchen) is that your uncle tends to hang around upstairs more rather than doing other things that would usually take him away from you. Which means I'm spending more time in my room reading, because Mom likes it when I don't bi-....talk...about him, and it's much easier to do that when I don't spend time around him. So this is all for the better. I guess.
Revelation: I'm not actually as popular as I sometimes fool myself into thinking I am, and I should really get used to that fact.
I got an email from my Greek prof about some things we're going to cover in the first class. I immediately freaked out about that class. But that's just how I do things.
*farewell signoff message here*
(I still don't have any ideas for this. Suggestions?)
~Calminaiel~
"Okay, Robyn. Shut up."
"You see? Thank you."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)