Thursday, February 28, 2008

L'ecole

I've just finished doing some stuff for our english project. I really feel kinda bad about this project, because I don't feel like I've done much for it. But I've tried to help explain them in our written part as best as I can, so.

Not much new is going on right now. Feelings of excitment, disappointment, inspiration, desperation, confusion, anger, happiness, blissfulness...etc. Just about a little bit of everything. As life always is, so as I said, nothing new.

I went to Guys With Ties last night, which was so great. I really do love all of them. They put on a great show. They're one of those groups that can bring out so many different emotions during a show, which is exactly what music should do to you. I'm sure the personal emotional aspect helped bring all those out, but nevertheless. What works, works.

They're all just really great musicians, and I really hope I can have their...dedication, attitude...whatever it is that makes them tick...someday. I don't think I'm there yet.

I forgot to add worry to the above list of emotions. That's also one.

How can I feel like I'm ready for university when other people who are so much more amazing than I am feel that they're not?

People change, times change, lives change...it's how things work. Sorry Gatsby, but I tried the whole living in the past thing, and it doesn't work. But that doesn't mean you have to forget it altogether. That's no fun at all.

Abstract is the way to go. I like it. I often wonder if I think people are really thoughtful, and deep thinkers and such, when really they're just abstract and my ever-changing mind just assumes there's a deeper level of thought there than there realy is.

I'm no good at this life business. Not lately anyways.

Music. Music so thick you can practically see it. It flows through you, and you swim in it, taking it all in and giving everything you can back, which in reality seems like nothing, but you know better than that. Feeling more attatched and connected than ever before. Amrs reaching out and taking you in, not holding you down, but setting you free by holding tighter and tighter. Complete abandonment of real thoughts. What is now matters, what has past is gone, and what is yet to come should not be worried about. It doesn't matter where people are, only how they are doing. Being connected no matter what happens.

I still can't believe how this just appeared before my eyes. Like, I seriously didn't see it coming. It just hit me in the fact one day. I'm not against it at all, on the contrary, I really like it. I still just can't believe how stuff like that can just kinda be there one day, and then the next day be as obvious as anything can be.

Yesterday from 1:00 to 2:00 was the most useful I've felt in a while. It was a good feeling. I mean, not in the situation, but it was nice to feel useful again.

~Calminaiel~

"Steve the Lion's kinda dying...we'll tie him to Elliot, he'll keep him up."

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