Gah, it's real

Jocelyn texted Ken this morning to tell him that she's moving into the condo today and tomorrow. Which means we can start moving in anytime. Well, we always had the option to start moving in anytime, but she knew that we were sort of waiting for her to go first, as it were.

So. That means it's actually happening.

I mean, I always knew it was actually happening. Especially once I saw the place, got a key, etc. But...I don't know. I know Rae understands this feeling, because she told me she felt the same way. I'll do my best to explain it now.

I'm experiencing a lot of emotions from this whole moving out deal. And this is just the pre-actual-moving stage, so I have no idea how I'm going to feel after that happens. But anyways. Mostly, I've been excited, as most people know. Sometimes I'm a little terrified. Not because I don't think I can do it, but just because it's going to be a change, and it'll be different. And changes and different experiences are always a little frightening, at least for me.

But it's mostly been excitement. Truth be told, I've been wanting to move out for the past little while (mostly just the last year or so) and this is a great opportunity. I didn't want to move out cause I don't enjoy living with my family (well...usually). I just felt like I wanted to see what it was like having a place, and what not.

So for the past few months I've almost had that 'too good to be true' feeling. I mean, it's a really fair sized place, decent location, living with a bunch of friends, living with Ken, great deal on rent. I sort of felt like if I talked too much about it, or got too excited about it, I'd jinx it, and it wouldn't happen somehow.

Lately that feeling's been going away, as we paint the place, and as I show my parents, and basically as the whole thing becomes more real, and less like just a bunch of plans.

So now all that seems to be left is to truck all my stuff over there.

The problem is, Ken seems to be content with some plan to move in slowly. That is, he'll just sort of transfer more stuff over to the place every day or so, until he's pretty much entirely moved in.

That sounds like a good plan. But I don't think it'll work for me. I can't really imagine how to move in, other than just moving my bed, clothes, bookcases and tables over there and then worrying about other little stuff later.

Not that I'm worried about any of this stuff. I'm mostly just pondering out loud. If you can call blogging 'out loud'.

I'm at Ken's right now. He's off playing at a funeral. I was going to go with, and then just take his car and do something until he was done. But he never knows how long funerals are going to go, and then we'd both just have to worry about when I should be back, and if he's only going to be there for about an hour, hour and a half, that doesn't leave too much time for me to actually go and do anything. Not that I have anything to do today anyways, since I had a bunch of shifts canceled this week.

Which leaves me here. He has a book on horses that I really want to read, so I might pick that up. He also said I could go out and shoot gophers, which is always fun too. But they also don't seem too active today. At least, I don't see many outside the window. Not enough to make me go outside, anyways.

So there's a moving update, which I know really wasn't much of an update, except to say that it's going to be happening soon. Once we have stuff in, along with some furniture, and get the place cleaned up a bit, I'll give you some pictures. Maybe I'll even steal Graham's camera to give you a video tour.

~Calminaiel~

"I'm really scared about that quote."