Wednesday, March 31, 2010

A Pensive Moment

I have just a little bit of time before I should go over to the Rozsa for the brass choir / percussion ensemble concert. I'm currently sitting in Mac Hall after getting some dinner. The Gig Club (which I've never heard of, and don't know anything about) is hosting this 24 hour music expo, and it's kinda nice to just sit here and listen to some music for a while. It's mostly all just guitar and singing, although I think Vocalectic sang earlier today for it.

Anyways, it is really bugging me how I know nothing about this club that's hosting a music expo. As above stated, they're called the Gig Club, but all they continue to say is that they're doing this for UNICEF, and donations would be great. The only info dek they have set up is about UNICEF. I'm thinking I should keep an eye out for them in the future. Not that I know if I'd like to join them, I'm just curious about what they're all about.

But I suddenly had a pensive thought, and I figured I'd post it here before I either forgot it or found I wasn't in the mood to blog about it.

Lately I've been finding that I'm appreciating music more. All types of music. Even the crazy contemporary piece that Wind Ensemble's been playing. Even the jr. high and high school band who's concerts I usher. Even the guitarists and singers in Mac Hall right now, even if their singing quality isn't of the highest caliber. Even the music we're starting to study in history class, where composers starting using sound in their music, which many people wouldn't consider to be music at all.

In general I'm starting to appreciate sound more. Maybe because of this history class. I find there are musical elements it many sounds, if you take the time to just listen.

But a lot of the time I find that I enjoy music that is being enjoyed by others. Namely, the performers. Whether it's the guitarist onstage, or the high school bands, or the new music festival (which featured some pretty out-there music), I found I enjoyed it a lot more when it was clear that the performer(s) enjoyed creating that music.

Anyways, I feel there's a lot more I could say about this, but I still haven't even been able to put a lot of my thoughts into words yet, so I'm continue to contemplate on it.

But something else I've found is that as I appreciate different music and sounds of others, my appreciation for the music I play and create gets less.

~Calminaiel~

"I'm not sorry we met.
I'm not sorry it's over."

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Wealth of Information

First thought: I can see the moon right outside my bedroom window tonight, which is different. Usually it's right above the house, or outside of the back kitchen window. It's nice, especially in the mood I'm currently in.

I know it's ridiculously late, on a Sunday night, when I have to be up early tomorrow for the quiz first thing in the morning, not to mention all the homework and practical stuff that has yet to get done, and yet here I am, blogging. But I'm not feeling like I'm going to get anything productive done anyways, and I feel in a talkative mood, and I'm staying up to chat with Ken anyways, so I might as well share thoughts here as well.

I've noticed a particularly funny thing with relationships. Or rather, mine at least. I guess that's the only ones I can really talk about with any really knowledge. Anyways.

I didn't notice it as much in my first relationship (but, to be fair, I didn't notice that much in that one anyways), my second one was a little more apparent, and my third one was so obvious it almost made me laugh at times.

I've noticed that in the beginnings of my relationships, there almost seems to be this race to let the other person know more about you. I noticed this in me with my second, but with my recent one with Ken, this was very clear with both of us. We were sharing thoughts, experiences, memories...pretty much anything that came to mind. We've even both looked through some of each others' childhood pictures.

I just find it kind of funny how we've been friends (or at least, known each other in orchestra) for the last 3 years, and suddenly when we started dating it seemed like we had to let each other know exactly who we were and what we've done all at once.

It made me wonder just a little bit why this happens. I'm not complaining. Just wondering. There's rarely a time in a social situation where you feel compelled to let another person know everything (or at least, as much as can be said in a single conversation) there is to know about you.

Maybe we were both already so comfortable with each other, after knowing each other for so long, that the only really next step was to know a little bit more. Maybe it was just the joy of having somebody you know is interested in your life, and who you are.

(PS, I'm not sure how well those sentences fit together, as one uses 'we', and the seconds uses 'you'. But I'm really thinking my time for bed is coming closer, and I'd rather not spend time fixing it. Just so you all know that I realize the oddness of those two sentences together.)

Maybe we wanted to see how we both reacted to each others' stories and thoughts. To see if there were any issues before we really got involved. I'm not actually super sold on that idea, but it's occurred to me. I know I definitely laid out some emotional baggage I was carrying, when I probably didn't really need to.

Anyways, I find the whole process kind of interesting, because it's not like any other situation, where you gradually get to know somebody, until eventually you're really close, and you can't really say how it happened. It's like all that happened in about a week.

As a second reflection, knowing each other for so long and being comfortable with each other probably really helped. Look back, I can't really recall feeling overly uncomfortable with telling him anything. I just talked, without worrying about what he would think about it.

Getting to know somebody in one easy step: talk.

To be fair, that's my solution for most problems. But that's for another time.

Anyways, as a general life update, school is getting really busy, which means I'm also starting to just ignore everything I have to do, because if I think about it, that puts me in a very not good mood. I'm a little bit worried for April. But also excited for it all to be over. I foresee the usual emotional roller coaster that comes with being busy, so that should be yet another fun ride. For me, and everybody around me. I feel like I should apologize in advance.

~Calminaiel~

"Vol. 1: Bat-Greg is distressed."

Friday, March 12, 2010

Random Time

It's time for another blog in which I don't actually have anything in particular to talk about, but I feel it's time you guys deserve an update. So here's another post dedicated to all (or rather, most) of the thoughts I've had over the last two weeks or so.

I have a feeling this love/hate relationship that I have with Mia (my bassoon) and music in general is going to take a turn for the better sometime soon. Maybe not by the end of semester, unfortunately. But I have a feeling it's coming. Which I am really looking forward to. Ever since I got super busy around November I have not had many good conversations with Mia. Well, that's not entirely true. We did have a good chat about the Mozart symphony which the university orchestra did. And it's not as if we've had our backs turned to each other all these months. But, you know that friend you have, which you both don't have time to just sit down and have a good chat, but you actually see each other quite a bit while hanging out with a bunch of other friends? That was me and Mia for the past little while. I'm hoping to fix that sometime.

I've also decided I really like writing. And stories. Oh, the stories. It's just little things I've found. This blog has definitely always been around, even when I try to pretend it's not. I wrote Ken a poem on his iTouch on the way to orchestra once. I didn't think it was extremely well written, but Ken thought for it being written in the car within about 20 minutes, it wasn't too bad. And I've also been making up stories a lot lately. To be fair, I've always made up stories, but I've kept them to myself. Lately I've started telling them to Ken. Whether this is because I trust him with my stories or I just want to convince him of how ridiculous I am, I haven't found out yet. But he seems to like them, which is nice. I also found an old story poem me and Kelsk wrote in high school for our English class. I really liked it, and found that I still like it when I reread it as I was cleaning my room. For some reason I decided to read it to Ken. I felt ridiculous the entire time, but again, he seemed to like it. Or at least, that's what he said. I couldn't bring myself to look at him the whole time I was reading. Like I said, I'm ridiculous.

Apparently Ken's brother, Dustin, read my last post, which was nice of him. I like it when I find out other people who read. He thanked me last time for mentioning him. Well, I'm mentioning him again. And probably will be mentioning him more in the future, as I've decided to unofficially adopt him as my older brother. Since I never had one.

To be fair, I like all of Ken's family. I find them very exciting. Maybe that's just because there seems to be a different combination of them every time I go to his house. Or maybe just because it seems like there's so many of them. Besides his parents, he has two brothers, two sister-in-laws, a niece, a nephew, and another niece/nephew on the way. I've got a younger brother. And an uncle who won't go away.

But again, to be fair, me and my brother have some pretty good times together. And we completely understand each other's humor. As in, so much better than anybody else I have ever encountered ever. That's pretty impossible to replace. And I don't think I would even if I could. We've come a long way to be here together. Including him biting me when he was teething, me shouting at him when I was going through break-ups, and both of us generally pissing the other one off when we were both going through our moody teenage years. You can't buy that kind of bondage.

My art project I started before Christmas is still sitting beside the couch. I still want to finish it, and then eventually do what I originally intended to do with it. Hopefully that will happen over the summer.

I've got high hopes for this summer. It feels like it's going to be a good one. Not that I've ever had a feeling that I'm going to have a bad summer. But this one is feeling particularly good. I'm looking forward to it.

Speaking of having a good summer, I'm most definitely going to MusiCamp Alberta 2010 as a Supe. I'm so excited.

Alright, enough of that. I'm sorta kinda thinking of going on Wow for a bit before bed. I've been avoiding it for the past while because I stopped playing for a few weeks, and now I'm afraid I've forgotten how to do it, and I won't be any good at it. And I seem to have gotten in this weird habit of going to bed before 2 am. Where did this come from?

~Calminaiel~

"We lost Uncle Ken to a gecko."