Ha, Allen

Not that I usually like to plug these too much, but if you have nothing else to do, methinks you should check out Le poete seul est hante and The Blue Egg Nest. For no particular reason. Just because.

You should also check out the newest Allen Comic. In my opinion, it's fricking hilarious, and also so true. The best kind of comic, I think.

I taught a clinic today for one of the best students I think I've ever had. She was in grade 5, and had never had a real bassoon clinic or lesson before. Basically, she was handed a bassoon, and they said 'good luck' to her. But she was so keen, and just absorbed everything I told her, and kept asking for more. She wasn't afraid to ask questions. And not just when I asked her if she had any questions, but whenever I stopped for breath she would jump in with whatever questions she just thought of. It was excellent. I hope I get asked back, because I would love to work with her again, she's just amazing.

I'm going to see Mikey's bassoon recital tonight. I'm quite excited to hear it, I like hearing Mike play. I don't like having to blend with him as much...but that's probably because I've been playing with Alicia in everything for so long that I haven't had to actually blend with anybody other than her for quite a while. So I'm probably just being lazy. =P Anyways, it'll be nice to hear Mikey play.

Aren't you proud of my frequency of updates lately? I know, so am I. =) Don't expect it to last though...second semester is about to whirl back into my life. I've been denying it for the past few days, but I'm positive it'll push it's way back in. Oh well. If I stop blogging, it's only because I'm insanely busy and, as a consequence, insanely tired.

I was planning on having a shower before going to see Mike, but now I'm not sure if I'll have time...oh well, I should have time to shower before going to rehearsal tomorrow, so I'll be fine.

And guess what my uterus surprised me with this morning?

Just because I feel that you all should know. =)

~Calminaiel~

"I have never heard you use the term 'clusterf**k. I've heard Adam use the term 'clusterf**k.'"

Snow Day!

I know, they're rare. And technically, it's not even a snow day. Snow days infer that most people are forced to take the day off because of the snow. In reality, it's just me. Well, probably some other students, but certainly not the majority of Calgary.

Anyways, after waiting almost an hour for my bus to take me to lessons, I called my teacher, since by that time even if the bus did come I wouldn't make it in time, and then just headed home. I don't have wind ensemble rehearsal, because of the AIBF, and the only real class I had today would have been my philosophy tutorial. Which, I'm not going to lie, may have been helpful, because A) I still don't know what I'm doing for my paper due tomorrow, and B) I fell asleep in class yesterday. But I'm not really panicked about philosophy, so I'll survive that.

Erin tells me we still have orchestra rehearsal tonight, but Dad will be home by then, so I can catch a ride. I still don't know where we'll have rehearsal, but oh well.

I really should take the dogs for some sort of walk today, but it just seems like a perfect day to relax inside the house. Oh well, I'll give it a little more time, then maybe I'll bundle up and take them out for a little bit.

Heartland is getting better every time I watch it. The most recent episode actually left me really happy, instead of building me up, and getting really happy, before totally letting me down, and just leaving me feeling angry.

I love and hate reading week. I love it because it's a break, and who doesn't love a break from work? But at the same time, I feel like I just really started getting into the swing of second semester, and just when I'm starting to get back into the workload and such, they give us a break. Which sucks for me, because as long as I get myself into a work routine, I can mostly be productive. So this break has just broken my routine, and it'll take at least a week before I can make myself start to be productive again. And when I say a week, I mean a week after my classes start.

Hopefully Krishan and I were actually serious about being history study buddies. I think that would help with things a lot.

Well, I should get back to my mostly unproductive day.

~Calminaiel~

"I think they were just too lazy to come up with a contest, so they just put a monkey in the prize closet."

New Layout!

If you haven't noticed yet, the sidebar is different!

I was inspired to change up the old blog, which has basically remained the same since I started this blog. This inspiration came from friends' blogs, and also just from myself. I'll explain.

One of my thoughts in doing this renovation, if you will, was my wish to make my blog a little more interactive. I tried this when I first started the blog. Putting my favorite videos up, fun websites, etc. But I never updated them, and once I posted them, they pretty much remained there until the end of time, until I eventually forgot about them, and those lists were downgraded to the bottom of the blog where nobody looks. Again, this partially came from looking at some other blogs, and liking how they kept bringing you back because they were always changing. Well, besides the post updates themselves.

Another thought I had, when looking at my blog as it was, was that it seemed too much like I was trying to be something. I was trying very hard to be...me. I was trying too hard to show people what I wanted to look like to other people. If that makes sense, which it likely doesn't.

Anywayy, the point is that I got rid of the random site lists (except for one) and I've included more interactive stuff, such as the poll, and also more personal things that just have to do with me, such as my upcoming events.

So what's up with these new additions? Well, I'll tell you.

Personally, I've always found polls interesting, and fun. Especially when they're simple, one questions polls that you just answer, and then see what other people answered. I figure I'll give people two weeks to answer a poll. I'd like to think that people check my blog at least once every two weeks.

That is, if I would actually post every two weeks, but I'll work on that, I promise.

And don't worry, the poll questions won't always be quite as thoughtful as this one is. I just figured I'd make it relevant to my last post.

Upcoming events, as mentioned above, is just an attempt to put a little more of me into this blog. As if there isn't enough already, but this is my blog, so deal with it. Most of these events will be things that anybody reading this would be able to take part in, so I encourage you, if you see any concerts, or events that you'd like to attend, or take part in, please message me, be in an email, over facebook, a call or text, or even just a comment on my blog, please do so. The more the merrier. =) If you don't get a hold of me, I can't give you more information about said event.

Internet adventures. This is the one list of links that I decided to keep, and if all goes my way, it should constantly be changing. I don't think I'll ever have more than five links on that list at a time, and they'll all just be things on the internet that I stumble upon, and found amusing, or thoughtful, or anything at all besides boring and dull. Something tells me I'll be getting most of these links from Kristian when we're wasting time at school.

Having said that, if you ever have a suggestion for Internet Adventures, or for a question for the poll, or even an event you'd like me to add to my list, again, please message me in some fashion, and I'll probably be more than happy to add it.

New blogs that I add to my blog list will also probably be added to my Link List.

Discovery of the day: my blog list will tell me when xkcd updates! How cool is that?

Anyways, I shall let you explore the new ways of my blog. Which you've probably already figured out.

A sudden thought: Maybe I should have made the poll question relevant to whether or not you like my new layout...or I can just tell you to comment on it, and let me know. =) Problem solved.

Until next time,

~Calminaiel~

"Dad! You have to come see us fry the chicken!!"

Names

It occurred to me on Monday how much significance our names can have.

It just hit me suddenly, and, having no time to think of it at that moment, I had to postpone it until that night, where I had time to sort things out.

Anyways, enough prologue, I shall start attempting to make sense.

I was hanging out with Bennet on Monday night, and he had some calls to some friends to make, so I sat with him while he did that. Well, actually I was half laying on him while he was doing that, but it was very comfortable. For me.

While he was on the phone, generally the other person would always ask what he was up too, and sometimes he would say 'I'm hanging with the girlfriend' and other times he would say 'I'm hanging with Robyn.'

And I always got the weirdest, best feeling whenever he said my name to somebody else.

He doesn't always call me by my name. In fact, he actually rarely does, at least to my face. He'll always call 'baby' or something. Which also makes me feel insanely special, because anybody who knows me knows that I love nicknames. The few times he does call me by my name, it's generally when I'm upset, and I'm refusing to listen to him, or talk to him, and then he'll say it, which generally gets my attention, but also gives me the weirdest, best feeling that was mentioned above.

It's quite interesting, and I still don't think I'm completely sorted out what it means, or why it happens. But on Monday whenever he said my name...it wasn't just like he was saying my name. It's like he was saying my identity, in a single word. He can somehow fit everything that is me into a single word.

There have been a few times where he's said my name, and it's like I'm suddenly reminded that that is who I am. He says it, and I think 'Right. I'm Robyn, and everything that is Robyn is also me.'

Like I said, it's the weirdest feeling, but it's also the most wonderful feeling of the world.

The whole thing just made me realize how much significance my name actually has. I don't think I've ever realized it before, and even now I don't know how well I can explain it.

Does it sound weird if I say that sometimes I forget my name is Robyn? I'll explain.

When I think of myself, I don't think of myself as Robyn. Sure, it's what I write on all my exam papers, and introduce myself as. But when I think of myself, and who I am, I don't think of myself as Robyn. I think of myself as...oh, everything that I've ever done, and thought, and are still doing and thinking.

Does anybody ever think of themselves by their own name?

And that's another thing that I'm reminded of when I hear Bennet say my name. I suddenly remember that that's who other people see me as. When they see me, they think 'Robyn'.

Maybe that does sound a little crazy. I don't know why I think nothing of it when other people say my name, and suddenly Bennet does and I go into this thinking spree. Maybe I just needed him to say it, in that weird, wonderful way that he does, to make me realize it. Maybe life decided it was time that I find out another aspect of my identity, of myself, that I can lean on when I need to.

Anyways, I should be off to figure out what I'm doing tonight, and with whom (well, I guess I already know the latter part of the question).

And thus, I shall diminish into the night, and remain...Robyn.

I'm so lame. <3

~Calminaiel~

"Why do the car warranty people keep calling me? I don't even own a car."

Squee!

I definitely just had an awesome weekend.

Besides Friday night, and even then it wasn't the entire night that went wrong, it was just that I started thinking while I was drinking, and that definitely should not be allowed. Oh well, it's over now, and to anybody who was there Friday night, I'm sorry I was quite weepy, but it wasn't serious and I am happy now. =)

Anyways, besides being completely dead tired for orchestra in the morning, after that I picked up Bennet and we hung out before I went for my first driving lesson.

It didn't go too bad. It still makes me a little nervous to be driving with somebody who is there for the sole purpose of watching my driving, but he said I did really good for my first session, so that's alright. Whenever I get too nervous about these lessons and the exam and everything, I just remind myself that this is something that the large majority of my friends have gone through, and they're all still here and breathing, so I should be able to get through it too.

It makes me feel better, but part of me is still nervous that it will take me a lot longer, and a lot more tries, to get it done than anybody else. But I guess we'll have to see.

Anyways, after that there was much playing of Rock Band (me and my brother are playing the Endless Playlist on our tour [playing every single song on the game] in order to attain Legendary status). Bennet came to the Wind Ensemble party with me, which made me so happy.

I had a lot of fun, a lot to drink, and there was much laughing. My conductor got to see me drunk, and I got way too excited about foosball. Coolers also do me in, because the combination of sugar and booze gives me a super high, but then that also results in a super low within a few hours.

Oh well.

To compensate for the last four days of getting four hours of sleep, I got a good at least 10 hours of sleep, although I think it was probably close to 11.

As a side note, my parents are watching a movie about a nuclear sub that's gone wrong, and they don't have proper radiation suits, so all the crews are taking turns going into the reactor and trying to fix it, and they're all getting sick because of the radiation. It's kinda painful to watch.

Anyways, back to more happy topics.

Bennet and I went on an adventure to North Hill Mall, where we went to EB games (the people there actually knew what they were talking about!), Cutting Edge (swords are just cool), and the games shop, where we found a booster pack for Killer Bunnies, and we bought it for Lindsey and Andrew. They were happy.

Very good weekend. I enjoyed it, and I feel ready to take on the coming week. Which is what weekends should to for you. =)

Now, the only big issue on my mind right now, is that I don't know if I'll get a chance to get a really good practice session in before the recital on Wednesday. It's a little troubling, but I'm trying not to think about it too much right now. I could always stay late tomorrow evening to get some in. Even that would be better than nothing.

Last point of the night: heart to heart talks are very healthy things, I recommend them.

Now, I seriously need to get my theory homework tonight. I've already accomplished the task of doing my theory homework during class in order to hand it in at the end, and I found I didn't enjoy it all that much.

~Calminaiel~

"But I'm a really cute hypocrite."

My safe place

I don't like this feeling.

It makes me feel too alone.

Maybe my haunted poet can explain it better.

~Calminaiel~

"Aw, man, I died three times. I'm so killing him."