Go Me

Wow. I just think I did more work on school by myself than I have ever done without having a huge project or essay due the next day. It's currently almost 10:30, and I've almost constantly been working on school since 6:30. I wrote my Greek vocab on flashcards and went over them a few times, then reread by Greek text in Greek, and translated it into English again for practice. I read all the pages of the textbook for music history that are "assigned" for this week, and copied out all the vocab that came up in said text, and listened to the 2 out of 3 songs assigned to this week that I have. I'll listen to the third when I get the CD from the library, probably on Monday.

And I've also had daily solid practice sections. So far, I'm doing pretty well in this whole 'keeping up with school' idea.

Technically I should do some Greek exercises from the book, but I think I'm done with school for now. I had a pretty good work section, I think I deserve a break.

The first week of school has been pretty good. All my new profs seem really nice, and all the old ones don't seem to have change much. I found out DeLong also went to Austria over the summer, so we had a good little chat in class about all the same places we went to. The difference is he probably appreciated some of those places a little more than I did, but being several years older than me and more experienced in the field of musical knowledge, that's probably to be expected. Oh, and he probably hadn't been going on walking tours all day and just wanted to go for lunch.

Greek is turning out to be a pretty good class, although our prof does like to go on about how much work we have to put into it. I'm not letting myself worry about this right now. I'll start worrying about it when I have to, but for now I'm just going to pay attention and do my work and see where that gets me. But most of the rest of the class are all Greek and Roman students, which was a little intimidating at first.

However, my Greek prof is also amazing. Her first language is Spanish, she also speaks English, and German, and teaches Latin as well as Greek. She amazes me every time she compares all these different languages. It also makes me want to take Latin, but she says that takes even more work than Greek, so we'll see how Greek goes before we start thinking about Latin. Plus, I'm already planning to take German next year.

The reed that I'm using currently isn't perfect. I didn't think it was that bad when I was sitting in a little room by myself practicing. But I got into a hall this morning with youth orchestra, and found out that it definitely is neither a large hall reed, nor a large ensemble reed. So I shall have to do something about that soon. I'll start working on more reeds on Tuesday. That is my designated hardcore working on reeds day.

But as for right now, I'm sitting at Ryan's house, while Ryan, Corey and Bennet play Wow. That is how I've got all this work done, by the way. Plus, I've been telling myself for the past few days that while they're playing Wow, I am going to get work done. And I did! I'm so proud of myself.

I was hoping to have some down time myself, with Puzzle Pirates, after I was done my work. But it sounds like the boys are done their things on Wow, which means I don't think I'll be able to join them with my own game, even if it is different than theirs. Oh well. It was a productive night, which is more than I can say for a lot of the other nights in my life.

But they have mentioned food, which I am definitely in for. I love food.

I'm also tired after doing all that work. I'm not quite sure whether I'm physically tired or just mentally tired...probably a little bit of both.

Anyways, before I start rambling random statements, I shall go and maybe fit in some mindless little flash games before we all get off the computers and go eat. That'll be nice.

~Calminaiel~

"Don't you just love getting up at 8 in the morning to go to orchestra? I think that's my favorite thing in the whole world."

Edmonton Weekend

I went to Edmonton last weekend. Melda was having a birthday / graduation party. It was a lot of fun. I got to meet a lot of her friends, see how big my younger cousins are getting, and show the boy my grandparents' new car. He was pretty impressed, which made me happy, seeing as he usually views Lexus as just a done up Toyota. He may be right, but it still bugs me whenever I point out a nice Lexus, and he replies with that very line.

But anyways. I'm happy to say I only really got lost once, and even then it was only because I missed a turnoff and it took a while to find A) another convenient turnoff and B) our way back to where we were going. I'll admit, I got a little frustrated, because I don't like it when roads don't lead me where I want them to, which was starting to happen. Nevertheless (Niechdestotrotz), we got where we were going. I'm not counting the time we couldn't find the Great Canadian Bagel, because that wasn't cause we were lost, it was because the place wasn't where we thought it was. We knew exactly where we were the whole time.

I'm going to get my unpleasant thought of the evening out so maybe I can stop thinking about it: I was planning to use the rest of the week to clean my room, but then I remembered that I have to be practicing for university ensemble auditions, and I also have a dentist appointment tomorrow, and I plan to be out tomorrow and Thursday night. I know that may not sound like I have a lot to do, but it does to me, and it bugs me that I'm already feeling busy before classes are even starting.

It doesn't help that today was deathly hot. And for some reason I brought a fleece coat to work. Silly me. Just because I leave the house at 7:30 does not mean the day is going to be cold.

Work was alright, besides having to tell first years to keep their feet off the seats in front of them, and trying to do crowd control to keep people off the stage. Not that they listen to me, and then the stage manager yells at me. Well, not exactly yells, but she wasn't happy. But I'm pretty sure she was more not happy at the kids not listening to me, because at the end of the shift she was talking about just how she could see people ignoring me, and thanked me for trying. So that was alright.

I also got paid this afternoon for eating food, and playing in the drum circle, which was pretty fun. I might consider going to the drum circle more often this year. It's a nice mental release. Just hitting a drum in rhythm with a bunch of other people...making a different kind of music without having to think about it quite as much. Just getting a rhythm going and sticking with it. It was fun.

I also got a recent copy of the student newspaper, and found an article of 52 things you should do before you graduate. I'm thinking of keeping that and just checking things off, just for fun. Some of them I've already done, and some of them I really do agree that I should try. I'll copy them all down here sometime, marking which ones I've already done, but not now. I'll save that for a slower news day, when I'm really desperate for some blogging materiel.

Oh, and when I got into my car after it sitting in the sun for six hours while I was working, I literally thought I was going to die.

And the downside of having a nicely furnished, warm, inviting living room (and kitchen) is that your uncle tends to hang around upstairs more rather than doing other things that would usually take him away from you. Which means I'm spending more time in my room reading, because Mom likes it when I don't bi-....talk...about him, and it's much easier to do that when I don't spend time around him. So this is all for the better. I guess.

Revelation: I'm not actually as popular as I sometimes fool myself into thinking I am, and I should really get used to that fact.

I got an email from my Greek prof about some things we're going to cover in the first class. I immediately freaked out about that class. But that's just how I do things.

*farewell signoff message here*
(I still don't have any ideas for this. Suggestions?)

~Calminaiel~

"Okay, Robyn. Shut up."
"You see? Thank you."

The Lion King

Yes, I definitely went to see the Lion King. It was very much amazing. So amazing that after it was over, I didn't even want to talk about it, because I was still going over everything in my mind.

I could definitely go see it again. It was so hard to try to concentrate on the actual show when you're being bombarded by all those amazing costumes.

Anyways, I've got most of my preparations for another school year finished. I should probably go out and buy myself a couple dozen more pencils...but I've got my classes organized, I've emailed my teacher to settle lesson times, I'm still looking for an accompanist, I've rented a locker (a big one, I'm pretty sure), I've bought my textbooks and given my old textbooks to Bound and Copied to be sold. So I'm feeling pretty good.

And Mia is on her way back, with a new seat strap and hand rest. Now all that's left is to make more reeds for the coming year.

Now I think I'll turn to the dreaded goals. I'm generally not a fan of making specific goals. I've tried to make them in the past, and I always feel really bad when I can't complete them as perfectly as I wanted to.

So I'm going to make a deal with myself. I'm going to list these...goals, for lack of a better term...that I want to keep in mind for this school year. I'm not going to beat myself up if I can't go through with them perfectly, and I'm going to keep in mind that even making a little progress, even if imperfect, is better than making absolutely no progress because of being too afraid of failure.

Clear as mud? Good.

File, save.

So, here are things and ideas that I want to keep in mind for the coming year.

Blogging, in more quantity and quality. I don't think I blog nearly enough, and when I do, it's usually not about much. I hope to fix that at least a little.

Try to cut back on the procrastinating. I know I say this every year and I'm going to say it again this year. Of course, the fact that I can get 80% on a paper when I do it the day / day before it's due doesn't exactly encourage me to change my style, but even so. I'm going to put in the effort.

Practice more. Again, I say this every year too. But I really do need to spend more time in the practice room. I do like practicing...it just seems like the process to get to the point where one can begin practicing takes a lot of time and effort. So, enough of using that as an excuse, because it's a lame one.

Make more reeds. I'd like to be able to have a few working reeds, rather than using one until it's literally ruining my sound, then work furiously on a new one, use that until it ruins my sound, work furiously on a new one...etc. I've tried setting aside time in my practice to work on reeds, but either I practice first and then am too tired and frustrated to work on reeds, or I work on reeds first, which makes me too tired and frustrated to practice. So I'm thinking of splitting them up. Maybe designating a certain day of the week to be my reed working day. Then I can fully concentrate on my playing for the rest of the week, and then put all my attention on reeds that one day. Obviously I'll still work on reeds other days if the occasion calls, but still. I'll see how this method works out for me.

Put more effort into my non music courses. I really need to stop thinking that they're like options in high school and I can just screw around. I still need those electives for my degree, so they really do matter. And believe it or not, they do affect my GPA, which I've heard it's nice to have higher rather than lower.

I don't dare make any more, because then I'll be overloaded with goals, and won't be able to do anything with any of them and...well, then we go back into the whole despair and failure issue, and I'm just not going back there.

And of course I'll always try to remain optimistic, but I know that school will get to me, and there will be days that will make me wonder if a degree is really as necessary as I think, and whether I can just live my days happily as an usher, or a waitress, and never have to study again. But we'll deal with those days when we get there.

But I think that's it for me. I keep wondering if I should have a special sign off saying for the end of my blogs. Any thoughts? Suggestions?

And the effort put into that last poll was quite disappointing. Four votes? That's almost enough to make me stop doing them. Maybe I'll just have fish, like my brother's blog...

~Calminaiel~

"I freaked out. 2of3 freaked out. 3of3 said "Yay! I get band aids!""

Back from Tour!

Actually I cam back a few days ago, but seriously, who likes to blog too soon after a 12 hour travel day?

Not I.

I'm currently sitting on the front lawn, since the house is way too hot and uncomfortable. Champ's with me. Just chillin'. I kind of feel bad about flattening the grass I'm sitting on...kinda. But it's grass, it'll live.

The setting sun just came out of a bunch of clouds. Which is kinda pretty, but also quite bright.

Anyways, tour was lots of fun. Relatively little drama, which was very awesome.

The concerts were...concerts. It kinda sucks that I didn't really feel particularly passionate towards any of our music...I certainly liked a good part of our music...but I didn't really love it so much that I felt a rush whenever we performed it. So instead of coming out of concerts feeling exhilarated, I just came out of them thinking that there's another concert done.

Not that they were bad, most of them went quite well. I felt quite out of tune for most of them, except the one outdoor performance we did in the park. But it was still pretty fun.

Speaking of being out of tune, I really need to make some reeds before classes start again. And do a hundred other things that I'm procrastinating. Looks like I'm not breaking that habit anytime soon.

I'm sorry I can't put any pictures from Europe up. I lost my camera on the first day. But after being up for 24 hours and then having to go on walking tours, I guess I really shouldn't be surprised.

I also lost my seat strap and hand rest for my bassoon, which I also need to buy again before classes and rehearsals start.

But right now it's a pretty evening, the air is cool (at least, outside of the house) and it's Friday, so I'm content to forget everything I have to get done for now. It can wait for Monday.

However, my feet are going to sleep. I keep having to shift position. I don't think there is a convenient position for typing when you're sitting on the ground.

I'm going out tonight, to a Micheal Jackson tribute concert, done by a group that my friend is in. I was never really a Micheal Jackson person, but it should still be fun.

~Calminaiel~

"So, I found out why I keep finding a string in my hole."

Camping Again

Yup, I went camping again. To Windemere lake in BC. With Erika, Sarah, and Emily. It was pretty awesome. =)

That lake is gorgeous. It wasn't super cold, so it was wonderful to swim in. The beach we were on was really rocky, which was great because we didn't have to deal with mud, or water weeds or anything.

It was a very good weekend, besides the fact that it was sometimes so hot that all of us just felt like doing nothing.

I'm also wondering if the fact that we went canoeing and I rowed for half the trip is why that muscle between my neck and my shoulder hurts so much. Hm.

I can't believe I leave for Europe on Thursday. I have two days to get so much stuff done! Well, not so much stuff...but that fact that it's only two days until I leave makes it feel like I don't have much time to get anything done.

I'm feeling really excited, and yet also a little bit nervous, and I can't figure out why. I think part of it might be because Mom keeps going over things like I'm leaving tomorrow, and it's making me feel like I have even less time until I leave, and also like I'm not going to see her before I leave. Which for some reason makes me nervous, apparently.

Oh well. As long as I keep my wits about me, I should be fine.

I also realized that this morning was basically my last chance to sleep in for the next two weeks. I highly doubt we'll be sleeping in much during tour.

Anyways, I had a really fun time at work tonight. We played poker, and bet with smarties. And we actually played a type of poker in which I actually felt like I knew what I was doing. Which was a nice change.

I was told to make a list of things I need to do over the next few days, so I won't forget. But lists also tend to make me nervous, because having everything laid out in front of me always makes it seem like there's more to do than when it was just in my head. So I think I'll skip that for now.

Anyways, I have to be up early tomorrow for rehearsal, and I desperately need to shower, because I'm kinda gross at the moment. I don't really like showering when everybody's in bed, because although Mom and Dad say they don't notice, and it's fine, I still don't like feeling like I'm making a lot of noise when everybody is in bed. So I'll get up a little earlier to do it tomorrow. I'm slightly doubtful whether I'll actually want to get up early, but at the same time, I have the motivation of the knowledge that I'm really gross and a shower will fix that. It's also not too late now, so I think I'm going to go get ready for bed now, and hopefully be in bed early enough that getting up a little earlier tomorrow won't be that much of an issue.

~Calminaiel~

"We don't accept Glosettes here."

(PS: New poll, in case you haven't noticed. Check it out.)

Nutella Tales

I'm currently sitting with Riana and Emily, eating Nutella with a spoon, and...well, just generally doing nothing.

Emily's saying something about mustard. And happiness.

We're all scrambling for the Nutella. It's good stuff.

So, we're originally here for SYTYCD. So You Think You Can Dance, for the uneducated, and uncultured.

Or rather, for those who actually have something better to do with their time than watch silly reality TV shows. Unfortunately, we do not fall under that category. Deal with it, we're proud of it.

*Nutella break*

For those who think eating condiments with a spoon is silly, it's definitely not weird. And we're really only doing it because A) Nutella's freaking awesome, and B) we couldn't find the lid for it. So really, this is the only reasonable solution.

In other news, I finally have the car back. We're listening to jazz. Emily has an iGEM blog. And Riana keeps forgetting what iGEM stands for.

And I also think nights of sitting around the table eating condiments from spoons are very important, bonding experiences. I wish they were more common.

Add that to my to do list.

Copy, paste, save.

I'm also broke and racking up my credit card because I'm broke. Wonderful.

But hopefully that will be paid off soon in the fall, when I'm getting shifts again, and hopefully working another job. So it's all good.

I love people, and hanging out with people, and just chatting. Good times.

~Calminaiel~

"The stage is your bowl. Eat from it."

Harry Potter 6!

~Warning: May contain spoilers~

A bunch of us went to see the new Harry Potter movie yesterday, and it is amazing! We were all definitely on a Harry Potter high for the rest of the night.

I don't even know what to say about it. It was very excellently done. There were a few scenes from the book that weren't included, which I was excited to see and then slightly disappointed to find they weren't there, but even so.

Okay, here is where the spoilers will really start, so if you till continued reading despite the warning, if you really don't want spoilers, you should actually stop now.

One worry of mine going into the movie was Dumbledore. I have to admit, I'm not a fan of the recent Dumbledore actor. I like the one from the first two movies, but this one...I don't know. To me, he seems a bit too...eccentric to really be Dumbledore. I'm not completely sure how else to explain it.

However, Dumbledore proved to be quite good in this movie. Which was very relieving, because I was very afraid that if I didn't like him, I wouldn't be sad when he died, and basically the whole point of this part of the Harry Potter story is to be sad about Dumbledore dying.

I was a bit disappointed with the Snape / Bellatrix / Narcissa scene. To me, this is supposed to be a scene that really makes you question which side Snape was on, and I didn't get that feeling from the movie. In fact, I almost got the feeling that he was hesitant to promise Narcissa that he would help Draco with what Voldemort ordered him to do. Which isn't supposed to happen, because Snape is supposed to be an expert at playing his part.

I also wanted to see the memory about Marvolo and his family, because they sound like pretty messed up people, and I really wanted to see how they'd be visualized in the movie. But that scene was left out, which was a little sad, but I can see why it was left out.

They also felt out a lot of the drama that goes on which works really well in book form, but totally wouldn't work out in movie form. Like a lot of the drama concerning Ron being the new Keeper, and the whole argument that comes from Harry pretending to use the Felix potion.

Of course, I could have done with more Harry-Ginny action, but I'm a big fan of the Harry-Ginny part, so that's just me, and I can totally see why they left out a lot of it. I did like the little part they did put in. I thought it was really cute.

They also added a scene where Death Eaters come to the Burrow, and the end result is the house being burned down, which does not happen in the book. It wasn't a bad scene at all, but at the same time, it seemed to have little point, and I kinda wondered why it was put in. Graham thinks it was just to emphasize that Voldemort and his followers really are rising, and suddenly all the places that Harry always considered safe, such as school and the Burrow, are suddenly not so safe anymore. Which makes sense.

Anyways, the movie was fabulous. Lots of suspense, and even though I've read all the books and knew everything that's going to happen, I was still kept at the edge of my seat for almost the whole movie.

It was also very hilarious at parts. Here are some of my favorites:

"I'm going to Hagrid's. I just feel like Hagrid's is the place to be tonight, you know?"
"No."

"She only likes you because you're the chosen one."
"But I am the Chosen One!"

"How much is this?"
"Five Galleons."
"How much for me?"
"Five Galleons."
"But I'm your brother!"
"Ten Galleons."

"Well, the thing about Unbreakable Vows...well, you can't break them."
"Thanks, I think I figured that much out."

~Calminaiel~

"I think the eyes get to people most."
"And the pincers."

Installing Love

I didn't write this, but it's definitely my kind of style, and I think it's awesome. I took this from a friend's facebook note. Enjoy. =)

---

Tech Support: Hello... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I’ve decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I’m not very technical, but I think I’m ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let’s see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, “Error - Program not run on external components.” What should I do?

Tech Support: Don’t worry. It means that the Love program is setup to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the “My Heart” directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

~Calminaiel~

"I swear, I only threw the ice pick out of the window because you didn't have any bunnies at the time! How was I supposed to know you had just put down a bunny?"

Registering Frustration

I registered for classes yesterday. Which was kind of a pain. It was kind of confusing in the beginning, and I was still trying to figure out what I should be taking in my second year and all that...and then I found out that one of my classes that I was positive was required was already closed because it was full.

So, naturally, I panicked, and ended up getting in the car and driving to the university to speak with somebody at the FASST office. (Fine Arts Student Success Team). Julia was excellent there. I introduced myself and said that I'd like to talk about classes for next year, and she immediately brought out my file, printed out my transcript, brought out a sheet with all my requirement for my degree, and began crossing things off that I've already done, and marking what else I need to do.

Anyways, after we had a good talk I proceeded to go home and register for everything she told me to. Which was quite painless, except I still had that problem about the class being full. Julia told me to email the prof and ask them to overload me into the class. I did so, and I'm still waiting to hear back from them.

I also discovered that I can't have lessons when Francesca wants to have them, because she wants to have them between 9 and 12 Mondays and Wednesdays, and I have classes between 9 and 12 on both Mondays and Wednesdays. So I emailed her too, and I'm still waiting to hear back from her.

On another note: I'm taking Greek as an option. According to the class description, it will be teaching how to read classical and New Testament Greek texts. Which I think will be pretty cool. It took me so much time to find an option that I was both interested in, and fit in my schedule.

My first preference was a German class, but nothing fit between my other classes. So I tried Russian, but, that I could see, the university doesn't have a Russian language class. Well, they kind of do, but it's mixed in with Russian history, and culture, and I really just wanted the language. I considered Religious studies for a while, but decided to reserve that for if I couldn't find anything else. I also spotted Slavic, which I considered, but then I came upon Greek, which looked pretty good.

So that's the story. Oh, and on my little sheet for what I need to get my degree, I saw that for my fourth year I basically need to take a handful of ensembles, lessons, and 5 other elective classes. Which I think is kind of amusing, but I guess it makes sense if I'm in performance. I have no idea what I'll take, but we'll think more about that later, I guess.

Did any of you notice that I seem to alternate between calling non-required classes 'options' and 'electives'? It's hard to get out of the high school habit, I guess.

In other news, I'm currently sitting at home while Graham films a music video with his friends, so I'm pretty much just staying out of their way. It's kinda boring. I'm considering putting some calls/texts to people to see what they're up to but...well, I'm still just considering it.

Happy Canada Day! =)

~Calminaiel~

"Have you updated that thing yet? You've been saying that you have to for the past few months."

'Tis a silly place

I've been quiet for the past little while, having nothing really to say other than how it's summer, and I'm being almost entirely unproductive.

Therefore, I give you another silly post about Harry Potter.

For those unaware, there is a Harry Potter Musical, done by a bunch of people and posted on YouTube. I have yet to watch it, but it is definitely something I'm planning on doing. I've heard it's very funny, and a couple of my die-hard Harry Potter fans have told me that what makes it funny is it's a parody that's done by actual Harry Potter fans, as opposed to Harry Potter haters.

For some reason, I find parodies are always funnier (more funny?) when they're done by fans, instead of haters. Does anybody have a theory on why that is?

Unfortunately, it had to be taken off YouTube for a while, due to copyright issues or something. Apparently there's a video of one of the people involved explaining exactly what's going on, and saying that they're just tweaking things a bit and then they'll put it back up.

Which, naturally, lead to a very amusing conversation between me and my brother, discussing how things could be tweaked.

My first suggestion was to call it Parry Hotter, the Musical. That lead us to make up other names such as Gryffinclaw, Ravendor, Slytherpuff, and Hufflin.

And for some reason we decided that all Hufflin's are gangsters, all Slytherpuff's smoke, Gryffinclaw's fight a lot and Ravendors...well, I don't think we every found a purpose for the Ravendors.

Then I started thinking about the house names and animals. Ravenclaw, pretty apparent that it's animal would be a raven, or at lest some sort of bird. Slytherin, sounds very snake like to me. Gryffindor has the sound of a lion...gryffin and all. But Hufflepuff? Where does one get the idea for a badger from that?

Maybe they should have called it something more appropriate, like Hufflebadger, or Badgerpuff. Personally, I'm all for the second. In which case, the symbol for such a house should be a badger holding a cigarette.

Which of course would call into question the issue of animal rights, which would force us to tell everybody that it's an animagus, so no damage to animals was really done.

In other news, I saw my first Harry Potter trailer yesterday for the new movie, and now I'm so excited.

~Calminaiel~

"How do Slurpees work anyways? I mean, I understand putting ice into your drink. But putting drink into ice?"

Just for a change of pace

So, remember that post I did a while back? The one where I was reading about Canadian history, and how fascinating it is, and how I wish I could have learned more of it in school?

Well, following those lines, I shall yet again tell you about what I'm reading now. Only there's a slight difference.

It's not exactly about Canadian history.

Actually, it's Harry Potter.

Okay, so maybe they're not similar. I just thought it was funny how my last post about my reading was very thoughtful and such on and so forth, and this time I've been reduced to Harry Potter.

Having said that, I don't think the whole Harry Potter series is trash. I quite enjoy it. Although, remember to take all my book ratings with a grain of salt. I'm also the person who enjoys Twilight.

And having said that, I shall now make a plea that you don't all comment on this post with 'How can you like Twilight?!' and such on. I just do. Deal with it. I don't care if you don't, and I happen to know that it's not even great writing.

But that's for another time.

My point for tonight is that I love how Rowling makes her characters grow up. I've read a few other series which take place over a few years, and yet their characters show very little growth. Particularly in the teenage stage of life. Sure, they go through a silent stage, but that's pretty much it. But Rowling, I believe, does quite well.

Especially in the last three books. The fifth one, I've actually decided, is my least favorite Harry Potter book.

(It just occurred to me that I may want to put a spoiler alert right here. So there you have it.)

Not really because of the plot. But because Harry's in his whole angst/emo stage of life, and all he does is yell at everybody. All the time. Through the whole book. It gets extremely frustrating after a while. I seriously just want him to shut up. He's perpetually angry. Which I suppose he has some reason, given his whole life situation and everything, but even so. He didn't yell nearly as much as in the previous four books.

However, the sixth is probably my favorite. I only say this, because in the sixth book, everybody is making out. All over Hogwarts. All the time. Which I find so funny, because that's exactly what high school is like. You just go around catching people making out. It's ridiculous. And hilarious.

Anyways, I should try and get to bed early-ish (ha) because of my late night last time, and thusly missing out on my running this morning. That shall not happen again.

~Calminaiel~

"It's a hot chocolate kind of day, isn't it?"

Comforting thoughts

Real friendship is always caring.
Real friendship is telling secrets.
Real friendship is keeping secrets.
Real friendship is late nights.
Real friendship is noticing when you're missing.
Real friendship is worrying about it.
Real friendship is partying hard and recovering slowly.
Real friendship is never judging.
Real friendship is getting mad, but knowing you'll still be there after.
Real friendship is keeping a watchful eye, just in case.
Real friendship is knowing how far to let go before pulling back.
Real friendship is making mistakes.
Real friendship is moving on.
Real friendship is listening.
Real friendship is calling at 10 pm and spending the night.
Real friendship is knowing you can cry.
Real friendship is dropping everything to come over with a slurpee and chocolate.
Real friendship is letting you be stupid, but not that stupid.
Real friendship is not talking for 6 months, and picking up right where you left off.
Real friendship is not afraid of distance.
Real friendship is not afraid of silence.
Real friendship is always different.
Real friendship is always changing.
Real friendship is everything.
Real friendship is everywhere.
Real friendship cannot be defined.

~Calminaiel~

(PS: big thanks to Melda for the head banner. She did an awesome job on it.)

Procrastinating sleep

Once again, I find myself in that odd place. Where, for that moment, I feel like just showing the world who I am. Putting all those silly walls and barriers down for a few moments and just telling everybody my thoughts, my feelings, and myself.

Because sometimes I just get tired of the way everybody, in some way or another, goes about their life pretending to be somebody else. The way we tend to walk around holding a mask in front of us, showing only what we want to be seen, and making the rest up as we go along.

Although I guess that is part of life. Making things up. Improvising. Doing what you need to do to just get through another day and keep moving.

I'm in a pensive mood, but my thoughts won't slow down or organize themselves enough for them to be turning into blogging thoughts. So I shall leave you with that, and the promise that this subject will eventually return. Subjects like this always return.

~Calminaiel~

"After you've finished practicing everything for your teacher, go back and practice certain passages like this, for your conductor."

I can has fan!

Because of the subject of my last post, my father used that as a subject for his own blog at work. Clicky here to zip to that.

To those unaware, my dad talks on the radio. My friends call him a "DJ"...which to me just doesn't fit with Dad. I just say he talks on the radio.

Anyways, one person commented on his blog and said he actually liked reading my post. A fan! Gasp! Of course, being the dreamer I am, I always like to imagine that somebody I will allow my blog to grow, perhaps past sticking with Blogger, and maybe growing into it's own domain name, and having fans and readers who don't even know me personally, but just enjoy reading...

That's the dream, anyways. Maybe one day. And maybe not. But feeling like one person I don't know enjoyed this piece of what some call 'writing' is encouraging.

Quick note, I'm also fiddling with overhead subtitles, you probably noticed. I thought it was time for a change. I also took my Grandma's suggestion for a poll, as I was coming up blank.

And now, for a funny story.

Ever since I've started driving, I've been drinking less. Because, of course, I'm not the one driving myself home. And while I know I'm probably saving hundreds of brain cells and my liver is probably thanking me...I do love a good night of drinking every now and than. It's emotionally healthy.

At least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Our staff as work is currently trying to plan a karaoke night, to have some fun. We're in the middle of deciding on a karaoke bar right now. I went to Arnn (my house manager) and begged and pleaded that I would not have to be DD this time. I love driving, and I love being able to give people a ride home, but...well, it's just been so long since I've been able to drink so much that I can't even stand up.

Okay, I exaggerate slightly, but you get the point.

Arnn agreed that I was going into withdrawal, and said he'd drive, or find somebody else to be DD.

Of course, being me, I went home and realized I was now feeling guilty, because now I'm in the silly position of mooching a ride off some poor sober person, who may or may not have purposefully stayed sober specifically to drive me home. Stupid conscience.

And so begins the debate within my head. Would it really be so bad to just drive myself? Yes. Karaoke is definitely not nearly as fun when you're sober, even if I am sacrificing my singing skills (already not great) with every drink (or shot) I have. Would it really be so bad to mooch a ride off a DD? Kind of. I hate mooching rides.

It was after going through this cycle for a little bit that it came to me:

Why don't I just take a cab?

Sometimes I can only laugh at how I forget to be grown up.

(Having said all that, I'm also going to ladies night tomorrow at the Roadhouse. In a limo! And bringing $140 to spend on booze while there. Maybe saving some for a cab. Maybe.)

~Calminaiel~

"How is this city working? Your population is 3! A mayor, a flower shop girl, and the emo lady!"

Hello friends

I'm really going to try to get back into blogging more regularly. I promise. What I'm going to blog regularly about, I don't quite know as of now. But do I ever really have a problem with blogging? Usually at the beginning of my blog, I'll say I have nothing to talk about, and three pages later, you're still reading about my elusive mind, and whatever happens to be lurking within.

Anyways.

I finished a new book tonight. It's of the Dear Canada collection, which is actually written for 12-15 year olds, but which I got into at about that time, and since it's a collection, I've started collected them. Along with the Princess Diaries, and a few Dear America books that I happen to pick up along the way.

This one is about a Ukrainian Internment camp in east Canada during the first World War. Of course you're probably wondering what the exact title of this book is, but I'm pretty sure I've given you enough information to Google it and find it yourself. Plus, I'm too lazy to get up off the couch and go find out the actual title, since I've already put it on my bookshelf.

And of course just now I remember it. 'Prisoners in the Promise Land'. Or something like that.

I've already spoken to both Bennet and Mom about what I'm about to say. There's your random fact of the night.

Reading this Dear Canada collection is really neat, because I get to see into Canada's past. For instance, I never knew that Canada put Ukrainians into internment camps during World War I. And with each book I read of this collection, I generally find out something I didn't know about Canada's history.

I was explaining this to Bennet, and how I thought our own history was fascinating. He said he didn't find it that amazing, but that's because he studied it so much in high school, he's sick of it by now.

And that's when I realized.

We, being the kids in the public school system in Calgary, don't learn about Canada's history.

Allow me to explain a little, because we do learn history, just not the way I would prefer it.

I never took a class called 'history'. I always took 'social studies'. Apparently that's what we do here.

Honestly, the last time I can remember learning about Canada's internal history, was in grade 6 when we learned about the different groups of natives who used to live here. I researched the Algonquin tribe, and since then, it's been my favorite native tribe. Other than that, we jut drew maps of our country and its provinces, territories, oceans, etc. Which is important too, but besides the point.

From there, I proceeded into junior high. There we learned about the different natural resources in the states of the US. We learned of the different countries that used to be a part of the USSR, and their natural resources. We learned the difference between being in the production industry, and the service industry. We learned the different between a communist market, a free market, and something in between. We memorized the different '-stan' countries (Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, Afghanistan, etc.). I can't remember touching Canada, aside from maybe having to memorize important dates, such as when we became an independent country.

Now, high school. We learned the difference between having liberal beliefs, and conservative beliefs. We learned various political beliefs, and how to recognize whether somebody was liberal, conservative, etc. based on a short paragraph describing their political views. We learned about the two World Wars, and who was fighting on who's side for both of them. We drew maps of yet more countries in Europe, and their capital cities. The most I can recall learning about Canada is that in the first World War, we were forced to join because we were technically still a part of Britain, so when they were in, we were in, no questions asked. World War two was when we officially joined the war by ourselves.

From this, all I gather is that the school makes sure we know the geography of our own country, which is important, and that we know that we were once a territory of Britain, but eventually gained our own independence as a country. Both important.

Now, let me tell you about what I've learned from reading these books.

In order to make the original French colonies grow, King Louis himself would pay for girls to be sent to Canada to start families and actually settle in Canada. When France and Britain were fighting over the territory in Canada, hundreds of Acadians were forced out of their homes, put on ships, sailed over to Europe, and dumped into town were the townspeople (who generally did not look friendly at these newcomers) were expected to take care of them. In England, when orphanages and poor houses were overflowing with children, they would give them a chance to go to Canada, and work as Home Children, helping around the house, which gave many children a chance to have a good life as opposed to spending it in the poor house. Thousands of Chinese were brought to Canada during the building of the Canadian Pacific Railway, because they desperately needed the workers, and they were known for being very hard workers. Influenza, the Spanish Flu, killed so many people, and many families sent their children out of towns, to relatives' farms to get them away, although nobody really knew how it was caught. The Canadian government put Ukrainians into interment camps during World War I, for seemingly very little reason, and later destroyed all the documents about them. It wasn't even officially acknowledged that those camps happened at all until 2005, and even then it wasn't until 2006 that the government passed a bill that stated never again would anybody be imprisoned in Canada for their race or origin. Canada and the United States have only ever fought one war against each other, and in the war, we burned down their White House. Since then, we have never fought.

I know if I were to look at all the books I've read, I'd remember more.

Now, maybe all of this may no seem that important to you. And maybe it really isn't that crucial. But it does seem a little backwards to me that I'm learning more about Canada's history from children's books than I ever did in school.

I'm not saying that everything we did in social studied was unimportant. But it does make me wonder.

One moment that comes to mind, is when we were learning the various '-stan' countries. We did actually have to memorize the spelling, and location of each country, and we had a test on it.

Yes, geography is very important. But even so. I'm still left wondering why that is apparently a bigger priority of learning the history of our own country.

Anything I saw now will only be a repetition of what I have already stated. So I shall leave the ball in your court now, for you to think what you will.

PS, I need ideas for a new poll. I thought about making it about this topic, but the choices would just be way too many. It's easier for you to comment about your thoughts. While you do that, I shall brainstorm poll ideas.

~Calminaiel~

"I just pictured Arnn sitting cross legged on the floor beside you, eagerly holding the yard while you knit."

Apologies

I know, I've slipped off the wagon when it comes to blogging. And not just blogging myself. I also haven't been keeping up to date with reading others' blogs. Maybe I just needed a break. Breaks are always healthy.

And of course, now that I've decided to come back, I have no idea what to say.

I'll talk about Graham's show that he did with his musical theater class yesterday. Well, and today, but yesterday was the show I went to.

They did the musical 'Opal'. I'd never heard of it before, but it's an adorable musical, and made me cry more than once.

The main girl has a wonderful imagination. Which most main girls have in any given musical, but that's besides the point.

She reminded me of the kind of imagination I used to have. Well, still have, I suppose, but it's been left out of things for a while. The kind of imagination where you name things, and talk to them, and generally just believe in what you want to believe in.

(PS: I feel myself going into a shpeal that I'm pretty sure I've gone into before. If you dislike repetitive shpeals, you should probably opt out now)

It makes me sad to think of how long it's been since I've gone for a walk with that imagination. Or even had a good chat. We may have passed each other every now and then, and exchanged 'how do you do's, but we haven't really connected in a while.

I think that's a good summer project for me. Even though I'm already loading myself up with summer projects, I think I still have room to add this one as well.

But what's really disappointing is that there doesn't always seem to be much room for imagination.

Sigh.

My mind is thinking much faster than my fingers are typing, which makes for a difficult time of blogging. Perhaps this is a subject better left alone until I've fully organized my thoughts.

I think that is a good idea.

~Calminaiel~

"Thank you, Mr. Poker announcer."

Happy Birthday to Me

Another birthday.

I am now 19. (Which means I'm legal all over Canada now, right?)

I had this big contemplative post lined up to write tonight. It was going to include memories, and hopes and dreams, and random thoughts...

But now that I'm sitting here, there's only one thing I really want to mention about today.

Dad gave me a pair of Taylor Swift tickets. Which are totally awesome seats, and includes admission to the Stampede that day. Totally awesome.

Later in the day, he asked me if I was surprise. I smiled and kinda laughed, and I assume he took that as a yes. But really, I wasn't.

Because I had always wanted to go to Taylor Swift since I heard she was coming here. And Dad told me he'd take me to see Taylor Swift. He said it in such a complete, for sure, tone, that I never questioned it. Even when tickets were sold out, and he hadn't mentioned it yet, I never doubted that I was going to Taylor Swift.

Now, maybe I remember it wrong. Maybe he did slip in a 'maybe' or 'if I can get tickets' into the conversation. But the way I remember it, he very clearly told me he would take me to Taylor Swift. And since that moment, I knew I was going to see Taylor Swift one way or another.

It comforts me to know that I trust my dad that much.

~Calminaiel~

"Remember that time I said your boyfriend was old?"
"Remember that time when you were a jerk?"

Sunny, smiley, sunbeam

Dentists suck.

But enough of that.

Going to opera tonight, which should be fine.

I don't actually have much to say. I need to figure out what I'm doing for the next few days, and there have been a few times this week that I want to have a good talk.

Anyways, I decided it was high time I put the new poll up, which is really what I came here to say.

~Calminaiel~

"Could a guy be shot in the chest and proceed to cough out the bullet?"

Interesting

I used to plug into my iPod every chance I got. Whether it was taking the bus to school, taking the dogs for a walk, or even just the ten minute drive from school to home, I always stuck my earphones into my ears, and turned on my music. Even for those ten minutes.

I'd even spend at least half an hour listening to my music before bed. I was addicted to my music. Seriously.

Now I'm finding I have more chances to plug in and listen, but I'm preferring to sit in silence, and listen to my own thoughts instead.

What does this mean, I wonder?

~Calminaiel~

(PS: new poll coming soon, I promise)

Watching the fuse

It's going to blow. I'm almost sure. I just don't know when. Should I start forming a plan? Or when the time comes, will it even matter if I do have a plan?

Not that either of those questions matter. I've already started to make various plans, and which one I use will all depend on the situation. I've even left room to improvise.

You can't all me unprepared.

But that is not the point of this.

The point is, taking pictures of people. Not a bad topic, which I thought of thanks to Ken. I had been looking for something to post about. The Vancouver road trip was wonderful, but tonight is not the night to share anything about that, I don't think.

Anyways, back on topic. Taking pictures. Or having pictures taken of you.

Certain people have always bugged me when it comes to having pictures taken of themselves. They're the kind of people who block the way of cameras, or turn their heads, and always avoid pictures because they insist they always look horrible in them and they hate them.

And I won't lie, for a while, a very short while, I was also one of those people. Not even because I agreed that I always looked bad. But because that's what all the other girls did. Reasons for me following them go back a ways, but that's a tale for another time.

But eventually it occurred to me that the only reason people don't generally like seeing pictures of themselves is because they're not used to seeing themselves. Yes, we all see each other in the mirror, but looking at ourselves in a bathroom, or bedroom mirror, is much different than seeing us 'in action', as it were. Laughing, and jumping, and running, and doing everything that can be captured in pictures.

But it also occurred to me that when I look at pictures of other people, they never look weird. Because I'm used to seeing them. I'm not used to seeing myself. Logically, the picture is just capturing what everybody else already sees. It doesn't make me look weird at all.

So to get rid of this uneasy camera feeling that I had created, I had a phase where I took as many pictures of me as I possibly could. All the time. I jumped at the chance to get in front of a camera.

And it must have worked. Because now when there's a camera pointed at me, I don't worry. I strike a pose, make a face, smile...whatever the occasion calls for.

Like most posts, I highly doubt this has a point. But every once in a while, I'm reminded of how...frustrating it is when people are so camera shy. Not even shy. Firmly against it. Oh well. Moving on.

Comment of the night: How can somebody be so self-centered, and yet still have no clue about anything going on in their own life? I will never understand.

I really feel like getting out of here. I want to go for a walk. And yet, I also just want to hide in my room. But I feel like that's not far enough away.

I see the fuse becoming shorter.

~Calminaiel~

"For the amount I'm paying..."

Here we are again

Yes. History class.

Generally I don't like to write here if I only have a limited time in which to do it. I like having an entire night to think about things, and get them down here. But maybe having only half an hour to say what I have to say will be good for me.

Especially since this whole thing came to me in the middle of my musicianship exam, and I can't wait to get it down.

It's almost summer. Almost the end of classes. Only one more week. Not even that, because I have no classes Thursday, and I'll be away Friday.

My point is, the end of my first year of university is very close.

Ever year, for as long as I can remember, I get the same feeling when summer comes around. Maybe I just haven't been able to describe it like this until now.

In musicianship this morning it suddenly occurred to me that I survived long enough to make it to summer.

All year we work through school. We do papers, we spend hours, days, of our lives in practice rooms, trying to find that something inside of us that the rest of the world actually wants to hear. We drink, we party, we suffer hangovers. We make mistakes, and we screw up. We procrastinate, and run out of time, pull all nighters, and nap in class the next morning. We go through times where we would rather just curl up and die than have to go through the next few days. We wonder whether our major is actually what we want to do with the rest of our lives. We wonder whether a university degree is actually as important as it seem, and whether it wouldn't be more efficient to just forget about it entirely. And I'm almost positive that at least one during this year, the same brief idea has occurred to everybody. Would it actually be so bad to just give up?

But we didn't. We made it to the summer, and we're seeing the end of the year.

Because at the end of the day, no matter how beaten to shit our ego is, or how little sleep we've gotten over the course of the week, or how many assignments we have due, and haven't started...

At the end of the day, we still pull ourselves together, pick up what little of our sanity is left from the floor, bandage our sprained dignity...

And we get up the next morning to go through it all again.

Does that mean that I care more about just survival than actually doing well?

Maybe a little bit.

But that's how I roll. And I'm still here, at the end of my days as a first year student. So I must be doing something right.

Ah, I almost forgot the most important part.

At the end of the day,

I have no regrets.

~Calminaiel~

"I'm stressed for you."

Even if it's fake

I woke up this morning.

And it smelled like summer.

~Calminaiel~

"I'm really bad at life."
"I love sex."

(PS, new poll)

Life works

Has anybody else noticed how life just sometimes works out for you?

There are many examples of this in my own life, and I shall proceed to explain ones that come to mind.

There are the simple things. Like how I wasn't ready for my lesson one week and I was freaking out about how I hadn't practiced, and I was stressing like you couldn't imagine. Over the night, it snows, and my bus doesn't show up in the morning, so I miss my lesson.

Like coming back from paintballing with Ryley, Josh, and Jordan, and having so much fun I didn't really want to get back home, and Jordan suggests going for ice cream, therefore extending my time with them by an hour or so.

Like when you're running out of time and you feel stressed that you can't get everything done, and you find out that something's been canceled, giving you more time to finish things and calm down.

It goes on and on like that, and you can even get into bigger things.

For instance, how I got where I am today, with my bassoon. Think about it. In elementary, I knew my mom was in band in high school. I wasn't sure whether to do it, but my grade six teacher told me if I don't do it in my first year of jr. high, I'd probably not get another chance to, so I should try it if I'm thinking about it, and then I can just not do it again if I don't like it.

Then, on the first day of registering for options in jr. high, I almost didn't even sign up for it, because all my other friends at the time thought band was ridiculous, and I'd have to step away from them and go into unknown territory. Which I did.

Then there's the fact that I barely even know what a bassoon was. Here are the things I did know:
1) it was rather large
2) it was rather low
3) not many people played it

That was it. And yet I had some burning desire to play it.

And then I had to listen to my friends talking about what they wanted to do when they grew up, and they all had ideas of what to study in university and such...and I had nothing. I did not like classes, why would I want to keep going with them after high school?

Until somebody reminded me that I should do what I like. And the thing I liked most out of everything was playing bassoon.

And here I am.

But I digress.

My point is, I see so many people worrying about life, and making a big deal out of everything single thing that happens, and generally just thinking too much about everything.

My belief is that life will help you get to where you want to be. Even if you don't know you want to be there yet, as with me and music.

I'm not saying you should be completely passive with your future. But maybe we should all just slow down and let things work themselves out. I know people who, when they get an idea for their future, they make a beeline straight for it, and immediately start working towards getting there.

Now, I'm not saying that's a bad thing. But there is such a thing as finishing up before moving on. Ending a phrase nicely, because going on to the next one, as some might say.

Personally, when I get an idea for my future, I consider it, and basically just file it away in my head. Not to be forgotten about, but rather, to be reminded of. Contrary to rushing straight to it, but also not just waiting for something to come to me, I keep the thought with me, and keep an eye out for opportunities. Because I really do think that if you want to get somewhere, and you're willing to work for it, life will give you the right opportunities, without you having to sweat blood and tears to get there yourself.

That sounds like I'm preaching a little. I know I'm not perfect, and I'll admit, I don't do that all the time. There are many times that I'm too aggressive about getting somewhere in life, or even way too passive about it. But I believe my point remains the same.

In other news, I'm getting a very one-sided response to the latest poll. The idea has occurred to me that people are just replying in the way that they think I want them too, because they don't want to say that what I write is boring. But you guys wouldn't do that to me, right? =)

Of course not. I trust you. Even so, I really should pick a better poll topic for next time. Like...

I don't even know. But I'll come up with something for next time, I promise.

~Calminaiel~

"We all play different instruments, with different shapes, and substances, and all with different apparatuses used for creating sound."

Timbits

I think I just finished the last apple fritter one, which is disappointing, because those ones are my favorites.

For my last driving lesson tonight we drove to Airdrie and he bought me hot chocolate, a danish (which we split), and a 10 pack of timbits which he said were all for me. And he got himself a coffee.

And now I have the house to myself for a while, until Graham or Uncle Chester get home. Which is nice, I don't get the house to myself often enough.

Overall, life has not been bad in the past little while. This week has been a little rough, because I had a history test, which stressed me out a little, and you all know how I react when stressed. Not always good.

But that's okay, because this weekend is going to be fabulous. Well, except maybe CYO, but we'll see about that one. Especially since Alicia isn't there to play cards with me...what will I do while he's doing string work? Hope that there isn't much string work to be done, I suppose. Maybe I'll just stay up late tonight, and then I'll be so tired that I'll just sleep while he's doing it. But that also won't put me in a good mood in the morning...*sigh*

Ken sits right behind me...maybe he'd like to play cards with me...

Anyways, after CYO I get to see the boy, which is always a glorious occasion. Then we'll go and do a quick trip for party items, and...extremely non-alcoholic drinks, as they're calling them these days...then spend a nice lazy time at home leading up to the party, then party like there's no tomorrow. After history, I think I deserve it. Now is exactly the right time to party like there's no tomorrow. It's still early enough for me to think I did well, and I have nothing to tell me anything against that belief yet.

Oh, and then swimming on Sunday. =) Glorious times.

It's nice not to work on a weekend for once. It's a pity it's kind of required to take at least one weekend. I could always do the silly thing and just check in at the end of the week, and hope all the weekend shifts are taken, but then I also don't get the good choices during the week, which is not always so good. Oh well. I get this one, which is good.

How should I make the most of my time in the house alone? Play my own music really loud? Be lazy? Bake cookies and dance in the kitchen? Rock out by myself on Rock Band? So many choices, not nearly enough time.

And as much as my brother annoys me the majority of the time he's around...I'm kinda bored when he's not around.

~Calminaiel~

"The video won video of the year or something, but I don't think it's that good. I think it just won because she cries in it."

Ponderings

It occurred to me a while ago that I don't often write short blog posts. Usually I write really long ones, which may or may not have anything important contained in them.

I also realized that I never really blog unless I have something significant to say. Which usually results in me not blogging for various lengths of time.

Using Rae as an example, her post today contained three lines. Mine are usually more like three pages.

So maybe I'll start posting more, and make my posts shorter. It's something to think about.

In the time I haven't posted, I've learned a lot about music and myself, and I think my mood's turning up again, away from the unmotivated and unproductive spell I was having. That's a good thought.

New poll up. There were five votes on the last one, and they were pretty much spread out. I'll leave that one up so people can look at results while also posting a new poll.

I remember having a question for all of you, which I wasn't going to pose in poll form...but I suddenly can't remember it. I'll let you know if I do.

Oh yes, I do remember. I'm thinking of having some guest bloggers on here every once in a while. Thoughts?

~Calminaiel~

"I like how everybody commenting on facebook is currently in class right now."

Ha, Allen

Not that I usually like to plug these too much, but if you have nothing else to do, methinks you should check out Le poete seul est hante and The Blue Egg Nest. For no particular reason. Just because.

You should also check out the newest Allen Comic. In my opinion, it's fricking hilarious, and also so true. The best kind of comic, I think.

I taught a clinic today for one of the best students I think I've ever had. She was in grade 5, and had never had a real bassoon clinic or lesson before. Basically, she was handed a bassoon, and they said 'good luck' to her. But she was so keen, and just absorbed everything I told her, and kept asking for more. She wasn't afraid to ask questions. And not just when I asked her if she had any questions, but whenever I stopped for breath she would jump in with whatever questions she just thought of. It was excellent. I hope I get asked back, because I would love to work with her again, she's just amazing.

I'm going to see Mikey's bassoon recital tonight. I'm quite excited to hear it, I like hearing Mike play. I don't like having to blend with him as much...but that's probably because I've been playing with Alicia in everything for so long that I haven't had to actually blend with anybody other than her for quite a while. So I'm probably just being lazy. =P Anyways, it'll be nice to hear Mikey play.

Aren't you proud of my frequency of updates lately? I know, so am I. =) Don't expect it to last though...second semester is about to whirl back into my life. I've been denying it for the past few days, but I'm positive it'll push it's way back in. Oh well. If I stop blogging, it's only because I'm insanely busy and, as a consequence, insanely tired.

I was planning on having a shower before going to see Mike, but now I'm not sure if I'll have time...oh well, I should have time to shower before going to rehearsal tomorrow, so I'll be fine.

And guess what my uterus surprised me with this morning?

Just because I feel that you all should know. =)

~Calminaiel~

"I have never heard you use the term 'clusterf**k. I've heard Adam use the term 'clusterf**k.'"

Snow Day!

I know, they're rare. And technically, it's not even a snow day. Snow days infer that most people are forced to take the day off because of the snow. In reality, it's just me. Well, probably some other students, but certainly not the majority of Calgary.

Anyways, after waiting almost an hour for my bus to take me to lessons, I called my teacher, since by that time even if the bus did come I wouldn't make it in time, and then just headed home. I don't have wind ensemble rehearsal, because of the AIBF, and the only real class I had today would have been my philosophy tutorial. Which, I'm not going to lie, may have been helpful, because A) I still don't know what I'm doing for my paper due tomorrow, and B) I fell asleep in class yesterday. But I'm not really panicked about philosophy, so I'll survive that.

Erin tells me we still have orchestra rehearsal tonight, but Dad will be home by then, so I can catch a ride. I still don't know where we'll have rehearsal, but oh well.

I really should take the dogs for some sort of walk today, but it just seems like a perfect day to relax inside the house. Oh well, I'll give it a little more time, then maybe I'll bundle up and take them out for a little bit.

Heartland is getting better every time I watch it. The most recent episode actually left me really happy, instead of building me up, and getting really happy, before totally letting me down, and just leaving me feeling angry.

I love and hate reading week. I love it because it's a break, and who doesn't love a break from work? But at the same time, I feel like I just really started getting into the swing of second semester, and just when I'm starting to get back into the workload and such, they give us a break. Which sucks for me, because as long as I get myself into a work routine, I can mostly be productive. So this break has just broken my routine, and it'll take at least a week before I can make myself start to be productive again. And when I say a week, I mean a week after my classes start.

Hopefully Krishan and I were actually serious about being history study buddies. I think that would help with things a lot.

Well, I should get back to my mostly unproductive day.

~Calminaiel~

"I think they were just too lazy to come up with a contest, so they just put a monkey in the prize closet."

New Layout!

If you haven't noticed yet, the sidebar is different!

I was inspired to change up the old blog, which has basically remained the same since I started this blog. This inspiration came from friends' blogs, and also just from myself. I'll explain.

One of my thoughts in doing this renovation, if you will, was my wish to make my blog a little more interactive. I tried this when I first started the blog. Putting my favorite videos up, fun websites, etc. But I never updated them, and once I posted them, they pretty much remained there until the end of time, until I eventually forgot about them, and those lists were downgraded to the bottom of the blog where nobody looks. Again, this partially came from looking at some other blogs, and liking how they kept bringing you back because they were always changing. Well, besides the post updates themselves.

Another thought I had, when looking at my blog as it was, was that it seemed too much like I was trying to be something. I was trying very hard to be...me. I was trying too hard to show people what I wanted to look like to other people. If that makes sense, which it likely doesn't.

Anywayy, the point is that I got rid of the random site lists (except for one) and I've included more interactive stuff, such as the poll, and also more personal things that just have to do with me, such as my upcoming events.

So what's up with these new additions? Well, I'll tell you.

Personally, I've always found polls interesting, and fun. Especially when they're simple, one questions polls that you just answer, and then see what other people answered. I figure I'll give people two weeks to answer a poll. I'd like to think that people check my blog at least once every two weeks.

That is, if I would actually post every two weeks, but I'll work on that, I promise.

And don't worry, the poll questions won't always be quite as thoughtful as this one is. I just figured I'd make it relevant to my last post.

Upcoming events, as mentioned above, is just an attempt to put a little more of me into this blog. As if there isn't enough already, but this is my blog, so deal with it. Most of these events will be things that anybody reading this would be able to take part in, so I encourage you, if you see any concerts, or events that you'd like to attend, or take part in, please message me, be in an email, over facebook, a call or text, or even just a comment on my blog, please do so. The more the merrier. =) If you don't get a hold of me, I can't give you more information about said event.

Internet adventures. This is the one list of links that I decided to keep, and if all goes my way, it should constantly be changing. I don't think I'll ever have more than five links on that list at a time, and they'll all just be things on the internet that I stumble upon, and found amusing, or thoughtful, or anything at all besides boring and dull. Something tells me I'll be getting most of these links from Kristian when we're wasting time at school.

Having said that, if you ever have a suggestion for Internet Adventures, or for a question for the poll, or even an event you'd like me to add to my list, again, please message me in some fashion, and I'll probably be more than happy to add it.

New blogs that I add to my blog list will also probably be added to my Link List.

Discovery of the day: my blog list will tell me when xkcd updates! How cool is that?

Anyways, I shall let you explore the new ways of my blog. Which you've probably already figured out.

A sudden thought: Maybe I should have made the poll question relevant to whether or not you like my new layout...or I can just tell you to comment on it, and let me know. =) Problem solved.

Until next time,

~Calminaiel~

"Dad! You have to come see us fry the chicken!!"

Names

It occurred to me on Monday how much significance our names can have.

It just hit me suddenly, and, having no time to think of it at that moment, I had to postpone it until that night, where I had time to sort things out.

Anyways, enough prologue, I shall start attempting to make sense.

I was hanging out with Bennet on Monday night, and he had some calls to some friends to make, so I sat with him while he did that. Well, actually I was half laying on him while he was doing that, but it was very comfortable. For me.

While he was on the phone, generally the other person would always ask what he was up too, and sometimes he would say 'I'm hanging with the girlfriend' and other times he would say 'I'm hanging with Robyn.'

And I always got the weirdest, best feeling whenever he said my name to somebody else.

He doesn't always call me by my name. In fact, he actually rarely does, at least to my face. He'll always call 'baby' or something. Which also makes me feel insanely special, because anybody who knows me knows that I love nicknames. The few times he does call me by my name, it's generally when I'm upset, and I'm refusing to listen to him, or talk to him, and then he'll say it, which generally gets my attention, but also gives me the weirdest, best feeling that was mentioned above.

It's quite interesting, and I still don't think I'm completely sorted out what it means, or why it happens. But on Monday whenever he said my name...it wasn't just like he was saying my name. It's like he was saying my identity, in a single word. He can somehow fit everything that is me into a single word.

There have been a few times where he's said my name, and it's like I'm suddenly reminded that that is who I am. He says it, and I think 'Right. I'm Robyn, and everything that is Robyn is also me.'

Like I said, it's the weirdest feeling, but it's also the most wonderful feeling of the world.

The whole thing just made me realize how much significance my name actually has. I don't think I've ever realized it before, and even now I don't know how well I can explain it.

Does it sound weird if I say that sometimes I forget my name is Robyn? I'll explain.

When I think of myself, I don't think of myself as Robyn. Sure, it's what I write on all my exam papers, and introduce myself as. But when I think of myself, and who I am, I don't think of myself as Robyn. I think of myself as...oh, everything that I've ever done, and thought, and are still doing and thinking.

Does anybody ever think of themselves by their own name?

And that's another thing that I'm reminded of when I hear Bennet say my name. I suddenly remember that that's who other people see me as. When they see me, they think 'Robyn'.

Maybe that does sound a little crazy. I don't know why I think nothing of it when other people say my name, and suddenly Bennet does and I go into this thinking spree. Maybe I just needed him to say it, in that weird, wonderful way that he does, to make me realize it. Maybe life decided it was time that I find out another aspect of my identity, of myself, that I can lean on when I need to.

Anyways, I should be off to figure out what I'm doing tonight, and with whom (well, I guess I already know the latter part of the question).

And thus, I shall diminish into the night, and remain...Robyn.

I'm so lame. <3

~Calminaiel~

"Why do the car warranty people keep calling me? I don't even own a car."

Squee!

I definitely just had an awesome weekend.

Besides Friday night, and even then it wasn't the entire night that went wrong, it was just that I started thinking while I was drinking, and that definitely should not be allowed. Oh well, it's over now, and to anybody who was there Friday night, I'm sorry I was quite weepy, but it wasn't serious and I am happy now. =)

Anyways, besides being completely dead tired for orchestra in the morning, after that I picked up Bennet and we hung out before I went for my first driving lesson.

It didn't go too bad. It still makes me a little nervous to be driving with somebody who is there for the sole purpose of watching my driving, but he said I did really good for my first session, so that's alright. Whenever I get too nervous about these lessons and the exam and everything, I just remind myself that this is something that the large majority of my friends have gone through, and they're all still here and breathing, so I should be able to get through it too.

It makes me feel better, but part of me is still nervous that it will take me a lot longer, and a lot more tries, to get it done than anybody else. But I guess we'll have to see.

Anyways, after that there was much playing of Rock Band (me and my brother are playing the Endless Playlist on our tour [playing every single song on the game] in order to attain Legendary status). Bennet came to the Wind Ensemble party with me, which made me so happy.

I had a lot of fun, a lot to drink, and there was much laughing. My conductor got to see me drunk, and I got way too excited about foosball. Coolers also do me in, because the combination of sugar and booze gives me a super high, but then that also results in a super low within a few hours.

Oh well.

To compensate for the last four days of getting four hours of sleep, I got a good at least 10 hours of sleep, although I think it was probably close to 11.

As a side note, my parents are watching a movie about a nuclear sub that's gone wrong, and they don't have proper radiation suits, so all the crews are taking turns going into the reactor and trying to fix it, and they're all getting sick because of the radiation. It's kinda painful to watch.

Anyways, back to more happy topics.

Bennet and I went on an adventure to North Hill Mall, where we went to EB games (the people there actually knew what they were talking about!), Cutting Edge (swords are just cool), and the games shop, where we found a booster pack for Killer Bunnies, and we bought it for Lindsey and Andrew. They were happy.

Very good weekend. I enjoyed it, and I feel ready to take on the coming week. Which is what weekends should to for you. =)

Now, the only big issue on my mind right now, is that I don't know if I'll get a chance to get a really good practice session in before the recital on Wednesday. It's a little troubling, but I'm trying not to think about it too much right now. I could always stay late tomorrow evening to get some in. Even that would be better than nothing.

Last point of the night: heart to heart talks are very healthy things, I recommend them.

Now, I seriously need to get my theory homework tonight. I've already accomplished the task of doing my theory homework during class in order to hand it in at the end, and I found I didn't enjoy it all that much.

~Calminaiel~

"But I'm a really cute hypocrite."

My safe place

I don't like this feeling.

It makes me feel too alone.

Maybe my haunted poet can explain it better.

~Calminaiel~

"Aw, man, I died three times. I'm so killing him."

Shot in the face

Don't think too much of the title. I'm watching Graham and his friend Wayne play risk, and I was struggling for a title. Which is when I generally just pick an easy line that I hear and use it. Voila.

And I've been meaning to do this for a while, but I haven't been in the mood lately.

Tag rules:

1. Go to where you store your digital photo folders. Open the fourth folder.
2. Go to the fourth picture and post it.
3. Explain the photo
4. Tag four people.



This is me and Elena at some sort of backyard party I was having. She found the camera, and did what Elena does, and takes lots of fabulous picture, this being one of them. This was after I shaved my head, thus the insanely short hair. I don't think this is the best picture of me, but at the same time, it's a picture including me, and a friend, and I always tend to love any picture of that nature.

Tagged: Amy, Andrea, Kristian, and Kevin.

I would have tagged Chloe and Rae, but I figured if I could tag people who haven't actually done it yet, I probably should. =P

Honestly, a lot of thinking has been going on these past few days. Not all of it good. The worst day had to be Tuesday night / Wednesday morning. But then that afternoon I sat down with my bassoon, and even after warming up, I was already feeling better. I love how practicing can just make me forget everything and keep my mind inside a practice room and on a task. It's a good feeling.

Of course, that can turn around, because there are times when life is so crazy that I can't make myself sit down and practice, because life is so insane that I can't focus and everything just goes downhill. But that's for another time.

Generally I hide out in my room while my brother has a friend over. But I like Wayne, and I clearly don't feel like hiding in my room right now. Thus, here I am.

Me and Mom had a nice night out. We talked about a bunch of stuff, which was good. I don't really talk to my Mom enough. Mostly because I'm only sometimes in the mood, which is my own fault. But still, it was fun. I wouldn't mind doing it more often.

On another note, I really need to find that balance between studying and practicing. It's a fine balance, and I clearly haven't found it yet, because I'm either feeling really good about my lessons, or really good about my classes, but never both. Sometimes neither, but that's another story.

Well, the thought of this weekend will probably get me through tomorrow. As well as Laser Tag in the evening. That'll take a lot of the week's worries away. Especially if we go for "beverages" after.

~Calminaiel~

"I think it's a fantastic idea. In fact, all of you should commission me to write pieces for birthdays."

Dala

I'm currently sitting in Mac Hall. In about an hour I'll get up and schedule for work, and then proceed to sit around for another hour before going to class. I've been more unproductive than I really should be.

But I did get my theory homework done already. Which means that is one thing done that I now don't have to think about for the next week.

Anyways, I really only have one thing to say, that I've been thinking about since Thursday, and only now have had a chance to sit down and blog about it.

These lines of this song seem to mean something significant to me. The scary thing is, I think it may be because I believe it's true, in a way. I still haven't completely figured it out.

And you'll forget you love her
When she forgets her lines
So don't believe the actress
When she cries

~Calminaiel~

"And now, a Kristian solo."

Mixed messages

I always feel bad when I come out of a good experience, and yet I seem to rant about it more than I rave about it.

I don't even know how that happens.

Like tonight's performance of West Side Story. It really was a blast. And yet when I got in the car with Mom and Alicia, the majority of the stories I told were all the things that annoyed me or bugged me during the evening.

Don't quite sure what that means. But oh well. So sometimes it's just safer to straight out ask me how something was instead of basing your opinions on what my stories seem to infer.

After saying that, it occurs to me how ridiculous that sounds. So disregard that statement if you wish. I know I probably would.

I've also discovered that I can be a very traditionalist person in some ways. Probably due to that whole hopeless romantic side of me.

I could elaborate, but at the moment that takes more thought than I really feel like putting into this blog.

On another note, my goal of being productive is already not working out so well. I was hoping to at least attempt to set a good work ethic, and then let it slowly fall out as the semester goes on. Instead, apparently I'm starting out the term with very little work ethic. Oh well. That just wouldn't be me, would it?

Then again, West Side has been taking up a lot of time. So let's blame it on that for now, and we'll see how I do next week.

Talking about anything else requires me to think, and I'm pretty sure I've used up most of my brain power for the day.

~Calminaiel~

"If Ken batted his eyelashes at you, you'd give him extra bacon, wouldn't you?"

Too much of anything is bad

I am a music student, am I not?

And we enjoy the odd inappropriate joke and sexual innuendo now and then, do we not?

Yes, I am a music student. And yes, music students are not the most pure and innocent people on the earth.

But honestly, when somebody is doing both of those every 30 seconds? Seriously? It gets old after a while. Did I say after a while? I meant very quickly. Especially when I'm not enjoying the rehearsal as it is, having to listen to that come out every half a minute did not improve things much. Like I said, we do enjoy those remarks now and then. Emphasis on 'now and then'.

Apparently his definition of 'now and then' occurs much more frequently than mine does.

But seriously, bursting out in hysterical laughter when the conductor asks us to start at bar 69? How old are you, 30? Do you do that every time a conductor says 69? Because honestly, I got over that one in grade 8.

Anyways. In other news.

I still can't find my theory textbook. It has to be in my house somewhere, and yet I can't find it. I'm thinking I may have to resort to asking Kristian if I can use his.

Should I be alarmed by the size of the wine glass that my father enjoys carrying around the house? Or rather, by the quantity of wine in said wine glass? Hehe.

By the way, for anybody who cares, I'm having another house party on March 13th. Possibly the 14th. Anyways, sometime that weekend. Mark it down. It'll be good times. I'm sure we'll all need a good night of drinking by then.

Heck, it's only the third day of term, and I already feel like I need a good night of drinking. That can't be a good sign.

(Note to self: do not forget to go schedule for work tomorrow. That will be bad.)

File, save.

It'll be nice to finally perform West Side Story in front of a big audience. So much of the energy gets lost as you rehearse, and rehearse, and rehearse. Adding an audience gives back so much more energy into the show. It'll be fun, I think.

I'm also really looking forward to the weekend. Speaking of which, I think you were right about my thinking, although I didn't realize it at the time. I really hope we get the chance to sit down and talk. In case you didn't realize this, the desire to talk never really leaves. But that's for another time.

Oh, also looking forward to sight reading easy music tomorrow. The university is hosting a clinic for a jr. high school, so a bunch of people in wind ensemble are giving lessons before rehearsal, and then we're going to sight read their music for them. And apparently they're in grade 6 or something, so I'm quite excited.

I think looking forward to things is an important aspect in life. I mean, what are we doing of we have nothing to be excited about? If there's no anticipation for anything coming up?

Breaking news of the day: I wasn't actually that bad (mood-wise) this morning. I got out of bed on time, I actually made sure I was sitting up before I turned off my alarm, so there was no chance that I would roll over and go back to sleep. I gathered what I needed, and even asked my brother for a bus ticket, along with an explanation about how I left my university pass in my locker.

I'm seriously going to try not to procrastinate so much this semester. I can already feel that goal fading a little, but I am going to try. Delong gave us a weekly schedule for listening and reading, so I'm going to try to keep up with that.

I also hope my laptop stops acting weird. It'll randomly go completely black in class and refuse to come back for about 15 seconds. Which is especially annoying in class. 15 seconds may not seem like a lot, but history profs can say a lot in 15 seconds, and if I'm sitting there attempting to encourage my laptop to come out of it's phase, that's not exactly helping me retain anything that he's saying.

Well, I could probably find more to say, but I shall save that for another time. Once again, kudos to those who actually read to the end of these ridiculously long posts. Hopefully this, in some way, makes up a little for my generally infrequent posting rate.

Did that sentence actually make sense? Oh well. You're the ones reading it, you deal with it.

~Calminaiel~

"Do you need another story about me cross-dressing?"

First day of classes

Uncreative title, I know.

Truth be told, I honestly don't have much to say right now. But I'm not doing anything else, and I know I haven't posted in a while.

Classes started today, as I'm sure you've figured out. It's actually a relief to be back. I was going a little stir-crazy by the end of the holidays. Cabin fever and all that. So it's nice to be out and doing things instead of sitting at home all day.

Janos wasn't here for Musicianship, which was really disappointing, because that is by far my favorite class. So that was sad. But I like our Theory teacher this semester. She seems really funny and I'm excited to have her for the next few months. I'm not sure what Delong is like, who I have for History. I've heard he's pretty good, but I am a little sad that I won't have Sallis again. I was looking forward to another semester with him.

So now I'm just sitting in the lobby, waiting for rehearsal to start at 3:30. I have to leave in the middle to go to Philosophy, so we'll see how that goes. And then it's back to rehearsal. But at least rehearsal is going along a little more productively than it has been.

But seriously, I really have nothing significant to say. So I'll just mention a few more things before I go and do something else to waste time until rehearsal.

I was offered another teaching gig, which is nice. It's up at some camp, and there's two grade 7 kids. Apparently they're the keen, eager type. So I'm excited for that. It's even early enough so I can drive back in time to make Wind Ensemble rehearsal, which should make everybody happy.

I'm also feeling slightly antisocial at the moment, which is making me feel bad about people around me who I'm kind of trying to avoid eye contact to make it clear that I'm not really in the mood to chat. Does that make me a bad person?

Anyways, off to waste time, until I have something hopefully a little more meaningful to say.

~Calminaiel~

"You mean I actually have to prepare myself before my classes?"

This time again

I'm feeling strangely isolated this New Years.

As I have for almost every New Years.

But alas, Chinese food awaits me in the kitchen.

I shall explain later.

Just so you all know I haven't forgotten about you.

~Calminaiel~

"Aw, look at all the aliens burn."