And life goes on

I'm currently sitting in the lobby. Eating greasy, but cheap, food from Mac Hall. And blogging. Obviously.

Should have practiced today. Didn't. Moving on.

Mike just sat up on the couch next to me. He's been sleeping for at least the past hour.

My stomach's already protesting against what I'm forcing it to digest. Deal with it stomach, payday isn't until the end of this week.

I am starving musician. And starving student. I shall develop stomach of steel. Rawr.

When I went to Taco Time and gave them one of my many certificates that I have, the guy asked where I got them. I was like...my dad works for a radio station and he brought them home. The guy said something about seeing one like it before (btw, that was because I also went there Monday), and muttered something else, but I couldn't hear it. He'd better not be complaining, because for his information, these stupid certificates are the only reason I'm really going to Taco Time to get food lately.

And again, I'm not complaining, because it's a burrito, 'Mexi-Fries' and a drink for 3$. So, it works. But still. I would like to inform that guy that there are at least four different places I'd rather go to in Mac Hall, and instead, I am taking the time to go there. So deal with it.

Oh look, Ben just moved to Mike's couch and is now sleeping. Good for him.

Of course, that's my pessimistic side kicking in. Maybe he was wondering where he could get some. Or maybe he'd just never seen them and he was curious.

But at least they take them and know what to do with them, as opposed to some places who look at coupons blankly.

And the saxophone quartet is rehearsing. And they're conveniently rehearsing in the room that is so live you can hear anybody playing in it throughout all of Craigie Hall. I exaggerate, but only slightly.

I have my first shift in the Rozsa tonight. Apparently the Rozsa's a lot easier than UT. I can understand that. But I'm also kind of looking forward to trying it out myself.

Oh my gosh! I should be watching Heartland in these couple of hours I have before work!

~Calminaiel~

"What's a stanza?"

Meep

So, I am currently sitting in the library. I find libraries kind of scary. So my facebook status says. Not that you should ever look too much into my facebook status. It can be misleading. Which seems to be my life in general, but we won't go into that today.

I don't generally find libraries scary. I mean, they can really help you get work done, if you need to be in a mood to get work done. Libraries just give the working environment that sometimes necessary. Not to mention, you can take books out, although if you know me, you know I'd rather the bookstore anyways, because then you get to keep the books when you're done.

But the major reason I find libraries scary is because in some library environments it feels like you can't make any sound. Not just loud sound. No sound at all. And that's really scary, because then every time I put something down too hard, or turn a page of a book, I feel like I've done something wrong.

Therefore, I really dislike the fact that my laptop happens to make a bit of noise when uploading CDs. Because that's why I'm in the library. To borrow CDs that I need for my history listening test, so that I can actually be prepared this time, instead of listening to said songs a total of one morning before actually taking the test. If that makes any sense.

I sat here for a full 15 minutes just trying to work up the nerve to actually go and disturb the peace of the library to ask for the CDs, since you have to ask for them at the Fine Arts desk. I was on the verge of just packing up my stuff and leaving the library without accomplishing anything at all, but then I walked to the front and saw Sean talking with the Fine Arts desk (or rather, the people at the desk, not the desk itself), and suddenly I didn't feel as bad. As for the noise from my laptop...well, I'm 70% sure that the only reason it seems loudish is because I'm about a foot away from it whenever it's uploading. Maybe if I were to walk away a little bit I wouldn't hear it at all. Maybe nobody else even notices, and I'm sitting here being paranoid that I'm making too much noise all for nothing.

Oh well. I'm in the middle of uploading and nobody's given me heck for anything yet. That still doesn't stop me from frowning slightly and almost shushing my computer every time I feel it makes unnecessary noise. But oh well.

Well, all I really had to talk about was my intimidation of libraries, and other oppressively quiet places. I think I shall now go and distract myself with something else on my laptop to distract myself from my own paranoia.

~Calminaiel~

"You're a poor peasant woman. And she's your brother."

This whole place is scary

And by this place, I mean Ryan's place. Because it is.

Mostly because Corey's here. And Corey has a way of turning everything dirty.

I'm also supposed to blog about Ryan.

And remembering what Corey said 'blogging' was, that sounds really really weird.

Corey: "You'll never feel the same way about blogging again."

It's very true. Very, very true.

So here I am sitting, on the couch, and blogging. I kind of want to play Puzzle Pirates, but I also don't really have the energy to commit to that. Especially with people around. It's not exactly a social game, at least concerning the people who aren't on pirates.

So I'm sitting on the couch. Corey's emailing ACAD about a sound program he things he's interested in, and wants to know more about it. Bennet's playing Halo. Or Halo 2. And Ryan's making us food. Ryan's a wonderful human being.

Oh, and Xavier's up in his room, presumably on WoW. Just to make it fair, so I have now blogged about everybody in the house. Nobody can blame me for leaving them out.

Bennet's attempting to explain the plot of Halo to me. I'm not sure if I'm following it or not.

Corey needs to stop talking. Now.

And this could go on forever if I just sat here typing out events as they happen, so I should be off. I'm hungry.

Corey loves me. He knows it.

~Calminaiel~

"That's what she said."

(PS: is it sad that that's the only quote I can pick from today that's actually appropriate for my blog?)

Life is strange

As I just said to Kelsk, less than two seconds ago.

I'm in one of my weird moods. And it doesn't help that I'm with the boy. Not because he makes it worse or anything, but because than he thinks it's his fault, and it's not. It's just me and my own mind.

I feel bad for not going out tonight. Because I told people I was going to, but the way things ended up working out tonight, it just didn't end up happening.

Maybe to distract myself from this weird mood for a while, I'll talk about singing and skipping, which, if you recall, I was going to talk about last blog, but ended up not doing so.

Anyways, it starts with me walking to the train station after classes a few days ago. This one song came up on my iPod, and I had the sudden urge to just start dancing and singing and whatnot. Like they do in the musicals.

Why did I have this feeling? Because it's me. Because when I'm at home, and there's a song that I like, I'll start singing and doing whatever actions seem appropriate at the time.

Which made me wonder, why do I hide all that when I'm in public? I mean, think about it. When I'm alone, I do it. When I'm with friends, I'll do it. But suddenly when I'm not even by myself, but just walking among people I don't know, I won't.

Why do we seem to be conditioned that when we're in public, or more importantly just among a lot of people we don't know, we have to blend in and become anonymous?

I'm not completely sure where I'm going with all of this, but at the time it just seemed so weird to me that I don't mind being completely myself when I'm alone, or with friends, but suddenly when I'm with people that I don't even know, and probably will never see again in my life, you suddenly hold yourself back.

Does any of that make sense? Probably not. It rarely does on my blog.

Perks of today: I learned how to change rotaries and brake pads on a car, as well as how to rotate tires, as well as playing soccer with Patrick (he's like a dog, it's funny), and also impressed the boys with how quickly I'm learning about cars.

And isn't it focusing on the perks what really matters anyways?

~Calminaiel~

"So next time when you make that face when you're driving, we'll know."

Skipping and singing

I meant to blog about this yesterday. But I wasn't in the mood. And to be perfectly honest, I'm not completely sure if I'm in the mood right now, so maybe we'll talk about that another day.

Would I be repeating myself if I said I feel like I'm changing? I know I've said it before. Maybe that feeling never really goes away. It just subsides sometimes.

This really sucks. I'm slowly losing my desire to spill all my thoughts out in email or blog form. The more I sit down and attempt to write them, the more I feel the urge to say them in person.

Except you already know the problem with that. I'll be in the perfect situation to talk, and then my brain will freeze, and I'll end up saying nothing.

He says I'm getting better with it. Am I really? I suppose so, a little bit. But still. It's the fact that I still can't do it like I want to that's getting to me.

PS, if somebody could make my stomach actually cooperate with me, that would be really great.

And now, I'm off to hopefully be productive.

~Calminaiel~

"..."

(Actually, the most hilarious quote from today is a little inappropriate for here, so I shall leave it out this time.)