A Sequence of Thoughts

These thoughts occurred after wind ensemble rehearsal today. My reeds were not working out for me, and I was generally reminded about how unhappy I was with my playing in general. Than I reflected how my problem is that I tend to want to avoid unpleasant experiences, so when playing becomes unpleasant for me, instead of wanting to sit in a practice room and fix it, I just want to avoid playing in general. Then I reflected about how I don't feel like I can talk to anybody about this issue, because they'll just say "Well, there's you're problem, why don't you just fix it?", which I don't find particularly helpful, nor understanding.

Needless to say, I was not in the greatest mood come the end of rehearsal.

I could stay here and try to get some work done. But I'm not in a great mood, and having to do work on top of bad moods doesn't generally end well. Maybe I'll see what Ken is up to. Not doing anything because I'm hanging out with Ken always makes me feel better than not doing nothing because I'm feeling useless.

So I sent out a test to Ken: Rawr <3 What are you up to?

Ken's reply: I'm at home, do you want to come over?

This made me smile.

I like it when he seems to read my mind like that.

My text: ...maybe.

Ken's reply: But you don't have a car...Or do you?

Damn, I don't. I doubt he'll want to drive up to the university to pick him up, and I'm not about to be a whiny girlfriend and start telling him that he should.

My text: Ugh, I don't.

Ken's reply: I'll come pick you up then? :)

Wow...

I'm probably the luckiest girl ever.

Following that event, my mood was made ever so much better by the fact that Greg gave me my little schedule book which I had left behind at the bar last night. I was positive it would still be there, but it always bugs me when I loose things, particularly very important things like the little book that tells me where people are expecting me to be each day. So that improved things a little.

PS, I'm aware I have to finish my paper. It'll get done. I promise. You know how I do things. I'm just always a step or two behind everybody else.

~Calminaiel~

"I will finish it! Just not this afternoon."