Friday, August 15, 2008

Last night

I had one of those moments. One of those overwhelming feelings like I wanted to pour out everything inside of myself to somebody else.

The more I think about it, the more I think that if I find myself in the perfect situation, I just want to go for it. Just start talking, and say everything I've ever wanted to express. About anything.

Maybe I was just in one of my more romantic moments. But still. I can still feel it there. It may not be as strong as it was that night, but it's still there.

On this topic, I've heard people wonder about what you do after you put yourself out there. Who are you, once you've poured out everything?

I'll still be me. Nobody can take that away from me. I firmly believe that whatever happens, I decide who I am. And if the whole world falls apart around me, I'll still be able to believe in myself. I know I'm not perfect. And I know what my imperfections are. But it's still me.

I'm just not strong enough. I'm not one of those strong people who can keep themselves completely to themselves. I'm not strong enough to act like somebody else, and yet have a whole different level of thinking going on inside. I just can't do it.

I like to connect with people. I don't like to hide myself away. I like to put myself out there.

Because that's the only way that you'll know what it feels like to fly.

I could go on. But here and now is neither the place or time to do so.

Ask me after a long walk, when we're both laying under the stars, and we've been silent for a minute or so. I've thought about it enough. I won't have to search for words. I'll have them there, and ready. And maybe by the time I do run out of words, you'll understand.

At least a little bit.


"I know, you always have to wonder when your friends start bringing you to family events."

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