Saturday, October 11, 2008

Life is strange

As I just said to Kelsk, less than two seconds ago.

I'm in one of my weird moods. And it doesn't help that I'm with the boy. Not because he makes it worse or anything, but because than he thinks it's his fault, and it's not. It's just me and my own mind.

I feel bad for not going out tonight. Because I told people I was going to, but the way things ended up working out tonight, it just didn't end up happening.

Maybe to distract myself from this weird mood for a while, I'll talk about singing and skipping, which, if you recall, I was going to talk about last blog, but ended up not doing so.

Anyways, it starts with me walking to the train station after classes a few days ago. This one song came up on my iPod, and I had the sudden urge to just start dancing and singing and whatnot. Like they do in the musicals.

Why did I have this feeling? Because it's me. Because when I'm at home, and there's a song that I like, I'll start singing and doing whatever actions seem appropriate at the time.

Which made me wonder, why do I hide all that when I'm in public? I mean, think about it. When I'm alone, I do it. When I'm with friends, I'll do it. But suddenly when I'm not even by myself, but just walking among people I don't know, I won't.

Why do we seem to be conditioned that when we're in public, or more importantly just among a lot of people we don't know, we have to blend in and become anonymous?

I'm not completely sure where I'm going with all of this, but at the time it just seemed so weird to me that I don't mind being completely myself when I'm alone, or with friends, but suddenly when I'm with people that I don't even know, and probably will never see again in my life, you suddenly hold yourself back.

Does any of that make sense? Probably not. It rarely does on my blog.

Perks of today: I learned how to change rotaries and brake pads on a car, as well as how to rotate tires, as well as playing soccer with Patrick (he's like a dog, it's funny), and also impressed the boys with how quickly I'm learning about cars.

And isn't it focusing on the perks what really matters anyways?


"So next time when you make that face when you're driving, we'll know."

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