Sunday, October 14, 2007

Some thoughts

I figured last night's post was kinda lame. So I decided I'd post again with something hopefully a little more interesting.

First with some general stuff...I totally didn't print out music I need for bassoon seminar tomorrow, meaning I didn't practice it, so I'm going to be totally owned by the university bassoonists tomorrow. Sigh. On the up side, I think my mouth is pretty much good now, and my bassoon's on it's way home, so I should have it for the concert on Thursday. Good stuff.

Me and Chloe saw Across The Universe again tonight. I didn't think it could get any better, but somehow it's so much better the second time. It also made me think, 'I want a' Or rather...'I want *that*' but we'll leave that for another time.

By the way, those kinds of movies are exactly the reason why I'm so hopelessly romantic. Damn movies. I love them...

As a side note, I totally just killed another pair of headphones. Stupid things. I need a pair that will actually last me...

Okay, now on to the interesting stuff. Where to start is the real question.

First of all, it seems like everybody else actually has something significant and meaningful to put on their blogs. All the time. I mean, I have my moments, but some posts like last night are just there to take up space. So that either means A) I live a very meaningless life, B) I just don't think as much as other people do, or C) I just can't put my thoughts into meaningful words like they can. I can't decide which one it is.

Now for something that I always meant to talk about here, but never did last night because I was too tired.

At band camp, me, Rebecca, Chloe, and Aidan went to the field at some ungodly hour in the morning to look at the stars. They were very cool, despite the fact that I didn't have my glasses on, and so could just see fuzzy white dots. But whatever.

I actually found the walk there more interesting than the stars themselves. It was pitch black, with absolutely no light except for starlight, which wasn't exactly significant. So you couldn't see anything. You wouldn't even have been able to see somebody walking straight at you until they were four feet away. Which Rebecca did to me, and it was scary as hell itself, but that's another story.

Anyways, the biggest thing about the dark was that I couldn't even see the ground I was walking on. Which was a weird experience for me, because I almost always glance at the ground when I'm walking. I just like to know where I'm putting my feet. It's been a habit since before I can remember. Whenever I'm walking and it's completely dark, I always move super slow because I'm not sure what my feet will run into.

Which makes it really weird that it wasn't like that at camp. Even in my home, where I know where everything is, if it's dark, I move super slow. This was the band camp road, and while I've been there twice before, that still doesn't exactly make it familiar. But I hardly slowed my pace at all.

For some reason I had a weird confidence that night, and I put one foot in front of the other without thinking at all about what might be coming. I wasn't at all worried about what I might run into, or trip over, or anything.

I can't figure out why that happened that night. Even in broad daylight I glance at where I'm walking. Yet there I couldn't see anything and I wasn't even worried about it.

Was it the fact that it was impossible to see, therefore I didn't even bother? Did I just trust the road for some reason? Did I trust my feet?

This may seem pointless to other people, but seeing as I like comparing life to a road, it makes it interesting for me.

Another odd thing is that my trust, whether it was in my feet or the road, wasn't betrayed. Usually when I have an odd trust while walking in the dark I always run into something or trip. But this time I didn't run into anything. The road was smooth, I never was interesting.

I wish I could have thought about this more while walking back to camp as well, but seeing as somebody had mentioned Stephen King, and I'm just starting to finish It, I was more worried about a man-eating clown than trusting the road...

I also love being president of the music council. I don't like to mention that too often, because being president doesn't really mean I'm any better than anybody else on the council. We're really all equal when it comes down to stuff like that. But still.

It's so cool to have people I don't know (like grade 10s) coming up to me and asking me about stuff. It's nice to be known, especially since I've never really been the person who everybody knows.

It's also weird to think that there are possibly grade 10s out there that are now looking up to me. I know that when I first found out about the music council in my grade 10 year, and found out Katie was president, I idolized her from that moment on, and I totally wanted to be like her. It's cool to think that I'm now in the position I wanted since September of grade 10...and now there are possibly grade 10s that are having those same thoughts now.

I've never been somebody who other people look up to, although I've always wanted to be. It's so cool. At the same time, it's scary, because if they're looking up to me, they're probably thinking I'm so cool, and I know for a fact that I'm probably not half as cool as they think I am...

Of course, I may just be fooling myself. There might be absolutely no grade 10s out there idolizing me, and thinking I'm cool. More than half are probably thinking I'm crazy, and have no idea what I'm doing in life.

Which actually wouldn't be far from the truth...

Alright...methinks I'm done for the night. Any other significant thoughts I can post tomorrow. Or some other time. I'm sure they'll get up here eventually. And I'm sure two seconds after I post this I'm going to think of something I meant to say. Oh well. Such is life.

And, to let everybody know what I had to go through at band camp, a series of quotes to end tonights post.

It actually makes me wonder why I continued to go to their cabin...


"Well, it's not like we'll be having a sexy orgy party or anything while Robyn's here."
"No, it's not you Robyn, it's just your personality."
"Is Robyn Phillips still here? Because if not, we can have that sexy-orgy party now."
"Damn, Robyn's here. Now we can't have our sexy orgy party."

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