Press the panic button!

That's right. The panic button.

I guess it's not a major panic attack. I've just had too much time to think, and I've started worrying about everything I have to worry about.

First of my worries, the fact that I'm going to yet another band camp on Sunday, and I have absolutely no functional reeds. Okay, I have one that kinda works, but it's buzzy and really old, so I'd rather something a little more reassuring than that. I have one reeds that's promising...but that still only gives me two days to make it, hopefully, audition worthy. I've been kinda working on it, so tomorrow I have to mostly perfect it, and hopefully by Saturday I just have to do some finishing touches. Don't tell any professional bassoonist I'm doing this. They always say you should play on a reed for at least a week before performing or even rehearsing on it. So...sh...

So, after that, comes band council. In the last...hm...day, I'd say...I seem to have lost all my confidence as band council president. Well, not all my confidence. I'm just worrying more and more. I mean, it's really hard to follow Andrea as the band council president. She did an awesome job, and now if anything's not quite as good as it was last year, it'll be like, 'well, that was okay, but not like when Andrea was here...'

Okay, I admit, I am overreacting. Perhaps wildly overreacting. People won't be like that, and I've got an awesome team behind me, so I'm sure everything will be fine. But still. At my worst panicking times, that's mostly what I'm thinking.

So then, just because I was on a worrying-roll here, I suddenly realized that university auditions are coming up this year, and I'm like, 'what?! Already?!' So, yeah, that kinda freaked me out. I'm still not sure about university. I mean, I've been planning to go to the U of C for a while now, but I've had a bunch of people tell me otherwise. Well, maybe not completely otherwise, but still. They've said things to make me think about possibly reconsidering. I dunno. I'll talk to my teacher.

Anyways, that's mostly what's been on my mind lately. Well, mostly the first issue, about having next to no reeds coming up to band camp. The other ones just come in when I start panicking.

And today I may have started thinking along a topic that was probably best left alone. Well, no, I won't say that, since I do think about it...maybe not a lot, but I certainly never leave it for very long. Anyways, it wasn't thinking about it that was the problem...more like the length of time I spent thinking about it. And then I let it lead to other thoughts that were definitely probably best left alone. I also unearthed some memories/emotions that I probably wouldn't have missed had I never thought of them again.

But enough of that. All these weird thoughts probably have to do with the book I'm reading right now. It's awesome. It's a Stephen King book (and we all know how much I love Stephen King) called Lisey's Story. Or something like that, I'm too lazy to double check right now. Anyways, it's amazing, and that's the reason I didn't start working on reeds and practicing until 7:15 tonight.

I'm trying to think of something else in my life to add, and I really can't. My life's not too exciting right now. Unless you count me being constantly excited for the coming school year, but if I blab on about that now, you won't want to read about it when it actually gets here. So I'll leave that until it actually happens. =)

*gasp!* Is Corey actually going to compose something that might be playable by All-Cities?! I'm excited. Corey's stuff sounds amazing, and I'm sure it would sound even more amazing when it's not in midi-form.

Alright, so instead of going on as I'm often known to do on my blog, I shall leave you for now. And attempt to think up a half decent quote for the end of my blog...

~Calminaiel~

"I thought you must have pretended to be the Queen to get that girl to let us play with the puppies!"