Begging on my knees

Please don't make me feel useless for the rest of the month. Please don't make me feel like I did today. I've done the best I can, and I was just starting to feel like I was helping, rather than holding back. And now one thing happens and suddenly it seems like I'm more of a nuisance than anything.

I don't have anything against this, and it's not like I hold other things higher than it. But the fact of my life is that sometimes I have to choose between two things, and I can't have both. Either way, I was going to have to disappoint somebody by telling them I chose the other one over this. I'm sorry that this was the one to go. It's not always this way.

So please don't make me feel like I'm the bad guy in all of this. I already feel like that every time I think of this situation.

I don't want to think of this anymore. It was bad enough today. I can't stand the thought of feeling like this at least three times a week for the next month.

Oh, and by the way, Rae, when I said there are no beds in the forest, I was implying that that's almost the only difference between the possible hotel situation and the forest. =P

I need to do work. I need actual motivation to do work. On the bright side, I kinda cleaned my room, so I have room to practice now.

Pirate talked to me for the first time today. He's still a little intimidating, but not quite as much anymore. It was still surprising, though. I certainly didn't expect it.

I'm crossing my fingers, hoping tomorrow goes alright. I remember the days when I didn't enjoy those few hours at all. I hope things don't revert back to that.

Mornings suck. Don't make them suck any more than they already do for me.

~Calminaiel~

"I learned all my life lessons at preschool."